Somebody Else's Fairytale

Nineteen

Iago's POV

I'm a jerk. Class A !@#$. I know. And I loathe myself for that.

Lumabas ako ng kwarto at dumerecho sa bar dahil hindi ko kayang tagalan ang guilt ko.

I'm a hypocrite. I won't deny that what happened was what I wanted but  I also know that it shouldn't have happened. G*go nga ako eh, dapat kahit halik hindi ko ginagawa sa kanya dahil wala naman yun sa plano. Hindi dapat sa ganoong paraan, hindi naman siya dapat nasasaktan. :-/

****

Flashback

Dapat hindi ko ipinakitang nagseselos ako dahil alam ko na lalo lang  maguguluhan si Happy. But I can't help it, hindi ko na kayang itago ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya. Seeing her in someone else's arms just got into my nerves. The thought alone bothers me, what more that I actually saw it.

Alam ko na dapat hindi ko sinabi ang mga bagay na yun. Hindi tamang hinusgahan ko siya dahil lang nagpadala ako sa selos ko; Sa sarili kong emosyon. Nasaktan ko tuloy siya :-[ And when she said "And all we are is a set up. Just you and me in this situation because of your fvking urge to have your dearly beloved ex back!" that hit me so hard that I didn't knew what to do. Narealize ko na sobrang mali ko para gawin sa kanya ang ganito.

So I did the first thing that entered my mind. I did what I wanted. I did the most stupid thing to do considering our situation. I kissed her. And like what happens everytime we kiss, I was lost. I was the Iago secretly and deeply in love with her.

"I'm sorry for hurting you...and getting you into this mess." I said sincerely.

I really am sorry. I'm sorry for not telling the truth because I am a coward. I'm sorry for hurting her because I was selfish. Kung pwede ko lang bawiin ang lahat, haharapin ko na ang takot ko at pipiliting gawing simple ang lahat.

I kissed her again. And when I stopped to look her in the eye. I knew how much she trusts me and that what made me realize, I had to stop. I had to do it rigth this time if I don't wanna lose her completely.

"Please don't regret this in the morning." I wish she doesn't hate me enough yet. I hope she'll unserstand my reasons. I hope she still loves me in the morning.

I gathered what's left with my self-control and did what I needed to do. I stopped. Kissed her forehead and said what was all I can say.

"I'm sorry."

Sht. :( I shouldn't have looked into her eyes then. I've failed her once again. I've hurt the one I love and I knew that the pain I saw in her eyes would hunt me in my sleep. So I did what a coward always do. I walked out of the door.

End of Flashback

My thoughts were interrupted when Red handed me another glass of whisky.

He's not just Kara's boyfriend, He is also my half brother. And it's one of the reasons why I can't tell Happy the truth. It's a long story.

I only knew I had a brother four years ago, after his mother died. Nagka-affair ang tatay ko noon sa ibang babae at si Red and naging bunga. Tinago siya ng nanay niya sa tatay ko hanggang sa 15 na siya at 17 ako. It turned out that he looked for my father to ask help because his mother was sick.

We became close like real brothers. Siguro dahil pareho kaming lumaking walang kapatid. Everything was fine until Kara happened. Oh life. It's just so cruel, isn't it?

"Bakit ka nandito?" tanong ko sa kanya

"I can't sleep, ikaw?"

"Can't sleep either"

"Should I ask why?"

"I think you already know." Alam niya. Alam niya lahat. Alam nilang dalawa ni Kara.

So there we sat in silence, drowning ourselves with misery and a bottle of a 'problem solution.'