Bad Poetry for Nobody But Me

10/6/17 | Psychotic

Living in a dizzying world
Hiding behind
The background
The static
Envelops
You fall apart
In the dark
Only somewhat seen
If at all
Are you barely there
Or not at all
Are you crying there?
In the dark,
There?
Are you alone?
Where is your home?
When you're a ghost
Where do you haunt?
Wandering spirit of the dark
No one sees you
No one hears you
No one knows you
Or your story
What is your story?
Where are you from?
Have you found love?
Are you lonely?
The shadows on your face
Move and
Consume your frame
As you stand there
Shaking, afraid
Of what isn't there
But what is really there?
Is anything,
Really
There?
Or is it all in your head?
Imagination manifested under your bed
Out of your head
No one understands
What's in your bed
Rolling over
And over again
Nipping at your hair
Don't look at its monstrous stare
Don't open your eyes
Don't move
The walls are watching you
Their many, many eyes
Staring into you
Judging you
Craving you
This is more than just depression
And so much more
Than recession
It's fear
Of what isn't there
It's a psychotic delusion
Deprived illusions
Hallucinations
Medicated
Shaking
And the worst part is
No one believes you
No one can see you
Or what you see
They choose to deceive you
And say "you're okay"
But if being "okay"
Is waking up afraid
Every single day
Of what you might see
Say or do
If being "okay"
Is being unable to get out of bed
Not because you're tired
But because you're afraid
Afraid of the black mass
In the corner
Breathing heavily
As it turns into itself
Over and over again
You're in distress
If this is being "okay"
Then what in Hell's name is sickness?
When you're so afraid
You fade away
Like a wilted rose
In the break of day
Outshined by the ones
Growing wild and strong
You're alone
In the dark
But it's not your fault
It's just your faults
The cracks in your mind
Forming canyons of
Missing time,
Of missing sight
You're blind
A ghost in the night
Nevermind their
Selfish stares
Their heartless words
Drumming into you
And your world
Within a world
When this pathetic
Manmade mess of messes
Tells you who you are
What you can and can't be
Nevermind
What you can and can't be
Just survive
And take your time
I know you're in your mind
And the light can be hard to find
Your struggle is hard
Don't let society
Make it harder
You are braver
You are stronger
A wandering spirit in the dark
No longer
Let the moon and stars embrace you
Their faint light will guide you
Home
And you won't be alone
Anymore
You won't be feared
For what you can't control
Anymore
There are people who understand
You might not know them
But know they understand
Because they too
Are wandering spirits in the dark
With monsters in their hearts
Whispering
And static in their minds
Scared of what confines
And what defines
When society defames
And villainizes
They shame
And patronize
Institutionalize
Like a bunch of fires
That need putting out
But you're not fires
You're rivers
And streams
And oceans deep
Full of secrets to keep

10/6/17