I Was Made For You

still i fall

A rush at the beginning / I get caught up, just for a minute / but lover, you're the one to blame, all that you're doing / can you hear the violence? /megaphone to my chest
-the louvre, lorde

"So banana bread and a coffee?" Callie asked as they walked into the bakery. The ride there had been short but they had a lot of fun singing to various songs on the radio.

"You don't have to pay for me," Arizona said as she pulled her wallet out of her back pocket.

"Yes I do, I invited you," Callie shrugged.

"Then yes, banana bread and a coffee sounds great," Arizona smiled, already knowing how stubborn Callie was and knowing she wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Cream and sugar?"

"Yep," Arizona replied. She went to go sit down at and caught herself staring at Callie for too long. I can't fall for her, she thought to herself. I'm just going to leave again and break her heart.

Callie returned a minute later with a number and put it in the holder on the table. "They said about 5 minutes," she said, sitting down across from the girl.

"Can I ask you something?" Arizona asked hesitantly. "It's probably not my place but I'm just curious."

"Sure," Callie shrugged. She figured nothing the blonde could ask would be too harmful for her.

"Are you and Mark like...a thing?" she asked, letting out the breath she didn't know she had been holding. At least it was out there now, there was nothing she could do about it now.

"Valid question," Callie laughed, picking at her nail for a few seconds before looking back up at Arizona. "We're...friends with benefits...sort of." There was really no other way to describe it, as awful as it sounded.

"I figured it was something like that," Arizona laughed.

"He's my best friend but we're always sleeping together. It's a weird situation but the sex is good," Callie shrugged. "When I started dating my ex, I never felt pressured to put a label on my sexuality, but rumors started going around about me and people said I was a lesbian. So I slept with him to prove to myself that I still liked guys."

"Oh Callie," Arizona said sympathetically, putting her hand over the taller girl's.

"Erica said it was okay and that she understood because we were both fairly new to our sexualities. Except she figured herself out right away and I took a lot more time. So she told me that I wasn't 'enough of a lesbian' for her and then she broke up with me. Shortly after that I realized I'm bisexual, but yeah, Mark and I have been sleeping together for like a year now."

"I understand," Arizona said reassuringly. "I've been out for about a year but before that I slept with countless guys because I was in denial. I knew I was a lesbian but I tried to convince myself that I'm not." She remembered the summer before her sophomore year and couldn't recall the number of guys she had slept with. She was ashamed of herself, but she figured it was a learning experience that helped shape her into who she is.

"I'm really glad you get it. It makes me feel significantly less awful about myself," Callie laughed.

The waitress walked up to them and handed them their coffees and bread. "Thank you," Arizona smiled and the waitress smiled back before walking away. "News travels quickly at this school. I've already heard people talking about 'the new lesbian with one leg.'"

"Just ignore them, they still talk shit about my sexuality too," Callie shrugged.

"You don't have to ignore my leg, you know," Arizona said with a nervous laugh. "I know I haven't talked about it, and I'm not sure that I want to, but it's a part of me and it's okay to acknowledge it."