The Unextraordinary Life of Alexandra Jane (Editing)

Chapter Seventeen: Darkness and Dreams

"What the fuck, why would you say that Harry?" Rosalyn says demanding an answer

I roll over on the hospital bed so I'm looking up at the ceiling.

When Rosalyn came back from her little transformation, the doctor said I needed to get some rest because my body has gone through a lot. They picked me up and laid me "gently" on the bed. Then I told her what happened once she left and all that Alex told me. I tried to sit up a few times but ended up exhausted, feeling more and more useless with every minute that went by. I'm dreading the thought of how life will be once I get checked out of this stupid hospital, how I will have to depend on other people to do simple tasks like get dressed, walk downstairs, go to the fucking bathroom. 

"Harry are you listening to me?" Rosalyn waves her hand over my face, I didn't even notice her get up

"No not really" I roll my eyes at her keeping my gaze on the ceiling

"Why would you tell Alex all that shit if you say you love her?" I can hear the anger in her voice. I turn my head to look at her, her eyes are in slits and her hands balled up into fists at her sides. 

"Why would you agree to help me make her jealous? It's not like you care about her feelings" I shoot back 

"I only agreed to help you because you were drunk off your ass! You came to me and said she was a total bitch, that you wanted to hurt her because she broke your heart" She finishes the sentence with dramatic air quotation marks

"Harry you said you were sure that she didn't feel the same way, you even said you loved her!"

"I do!" I press my hands to my eyes as if that will hold back the tears that I know are coming 

"I do love her" I whisper so low I doubt she heard

"You don't Harry, you don't hurt the people you love" 

Alexandra's POV 

Powerless. I feel powerless. I wake up and look around in the dark room but all I see is pitch-black. The only source of light comes from the crack at the bottom of the door about twenty feet away. I try to walk towards it but I can't, I push my feet forward with more force, but remain in the same spot as before. I look down at my feet but the overwhelming darkness makes it impossible to see anything. I try to reach down to see what my feet are caught on but notice my hands are bound together at the wrists. I shuffle my feet and feel the familiar tightness around my ankles. My feet are also tied

I begin to move around in the spot where I'm seated, struggling to get free when I feel something brush along my back, my eyes go wide in horror when I realize I'm not alone. Panic immediately taking over. 

I stop fidgeting when I hear the door creak open, a cool shudder trickling down my spine. A shadow appears in the door way. Fear replaces my panic instantly. 

As the shadow begins to make it's way towards me I begin to squirm helplessly, wanting to scream but not being able to find my voice. I keep my eyes on the shadow coming toward me and notice it's the outline of a man. He's about two feet away when he suddenly stops and lets out a low chuckle. He reaches over and takes a hold of my shoulders, laying me back on a bed. 

I screw my eyes shut, tears beginning to stream down my face as I try to move out of the strangers grasp. I flail underneath him, pushing him as hard as I can manage when I notice the weight off my body and I'm punching at nothing.

My eyes snap open and I sit up, gasping for air. I push my back against the cool wall and take in my surroundings. I notice the hammock in the corner of the room, the T.V placed infront of my bed, the collage of pictures that runs from my headboard to the middle of the roof makes my body relax slightly. I tilt my head, leaning it against the wall as my breathing slows. 

The nightmare that I had tried so hard to forget, once again has returned from the abyss of forgotten dreams. 

I get up and quietly pad to my restroom flicking on the light. I look in the mirror and notice my T-shirt drenched in sweat, my eyes are bloodshot and bags have already formed. I splash water on my face and grip the edge of the counter letting the water run. 

I close my eyes and the images begin to play like a movie in fast forward in my head. I open my eyes and lean against the bathroom door sliding down. I bring my knees to my chest and put my arms around them.

My dream tonight was different, it wasn't like when I would have it before, something was different. It felt almost real. I feel fear in the pit of my stomach, I don't know if it's because I'm scared that if I go back to sleep the dream will continue, or if it's the fact that what happened at that party last year, will never stop haunting me. 

Harry's POV 

I stare at Rosalyn for a moment and then look away when she doesn't move her fiery eyes from mine

"If you loved her, why did you want to make her jealous? I did this to help you Harold, not to make an innocent girl cry just because you're the jealous one"

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" I spit. I really am not in the mood to deal with her right now. She's a good friend and all but right now I'm tired and I need to be left alone.

 "Fine, but when the hospital releases you wednesday don't call me to take you to school or get your bike at the shop" She slings her back pack over her shoulder and walks out the door. 

I sigh loudly running my hands through my hair and tugging at the ends, a habit I have to break. 

I wanted to tell Rosalyn the truth, I wanted to tell her Alex didn't react to me the way I had hoped for so I decided to just forget about it as much as possible. I wanted to tell her Alex had done nothing wrong and that I just was angry because I had waited for so long for her just to end up alone. I wanted to but I found it easier to just lie. To ask, more like beg, her to pretend to be the skanky girl Alex has never seen and pretend to be all over me just to see how Alex would react. 

I fucked up and I know that now but I also know that I can't take back all the bullshit I told her.

My rant is interrupted when my cellphone buzzes. I ignore it at first but then remember it could be Alex.

I lean up and reach for the wheelchair but it's too far. My phone continues to buzz on the table next to the restroom about ten feet away. 

I grab one of my legs, pulling it over the side of the bed. I do the same with the other until I'm sitting on the edge of the hospital mattress.

I grab A hold of the beds railing and push myself up. My feet give in and I sit back on the mattress. 

I can't walk.

My phone still buzzes and I feel anguish rise in my chest, if Alex is on the other end and I don't pick up, she'll hate me forever. 

With urgency I push myself up long enough to grab the the edge of the table parallel to my bed, I pray that with my weight the table will tilt and the phone will slide into my hands. But instead I fall forward. 

The table falls as I cry out in pain when my body slams against the tile. The phone skids across the floor two feet further. The machines I'm hooked up to begin to beep at crazy frequencies. I try to crawl but remember my knees are fucked too. 

The phone continues to vibrate, taunting me. My urgency is replaces by anger and frustration. I pound on the floor ignoring my aching body and drag my body towards the bathroom door where the phone continues to buzz. 

When my fingertips brush the top of the screen as I pull myself up to sit against the door, my breathing is heavy and shallow. 

I click on the home button with a little too much force, my moms picture and "One missed call" appear on the screen. 

I groan and drop the phone on the ground next to me, leaning my head back against the door. I stay like that, seated on the cold floor of the hospital room thinking about what on earth Alexandra Jane might be doing right now.