The Unextraordinary Life of Alexandra Jane (Editing)

Chapter Thirty-One: True Colors

I stare out the window of Louis car as Dr. Kelly's words replay in my mind.

It is a sexually transmitted infection that if left untreated can cause serious and permanent problems such as dementia, blindness, or death. 

I could go crazy, go blind or even die. I feel the gash in my chest rip open even more exposing my heart to the negativity that surrounds my life. 

Louis climbs back into the car with two bags of food in his hands. He hands me one and I take it setting it down on my lap. 

"Alex you have to eat" His voice sounds desperate but I just hold the bag in my hands and shake my head. 

"Alex please" 

It takes every ounce of strength in me to finally look up at him for the first time. His eye brows are pulled down in concern

"I'm okay" I simply say before turning back to stare out the window, not bothering to fake a smile

We sit in the McDonald's parking lot as Louis eats his burger and fries. He finishes in twenty minutes then dumps his trash and drives off again. He drives down the interstate in silence for about twenty minutes

"Alex I'm so sorry I just, I don't know what to do" Louis voice breaks the silence and sounds shaky as he tries to comfort me. He places a hand on my knee as he continues to drive but I move my body closer to the door and continue to look out the window. 

I hear him sigh, obviously hurt by my rejection, but since the appointment I've felt dirty, like a virus that spreads on contact.

Dr. Kelly explained to me that syphilis isn't always fatal, that it is one of few sexually transmitted infections that can be cured. She said that she could give me the shot they give to people that are in the primary stages but she said that the cause of the rash is because I'm now in the secondary stage of the infection. She gave me antibiotics that would kill the infection and stop it from spreading, but she recommended I shower at least twice a day and try to limit my contact with my "partner"

The first person I thought about was Harry, even though we arn't officially together and we haven't kissed or anything, we did sleep in the same bed last night and he's basically been taking care of me for the past week. I started to weep uncontrollably but she assured me that only sexual activities and oral contact would affect another person. Then I thought about Louis who thankfully I only kissed before the dance

My nerves relaxed but I once again felt filthy. I felt like my body had been invaded and destroyed and now nothing will return it to it's pure state it once was. My body felt foreign to me, as if my virginity was what kept me innocent and young. Back then I thought about how romantic it would be like to lose my virginity to someone I loved. I never thought about sex before marriage but I always saw it as if It felt right I would let the right person take something I thought as so sacred and private. 

Now I know that every time a hand is placed on my knee or a fingers brush my shoulder I will always pull away, not wanting to get more damaged than I already am.

I see my familiar red bricked house and sit up instantly when I see him. He's sitting on the porch steps with his back hunched and his eye brows pushed together at the center, his curls are hidden by a beanie. I notice his hands ball up into fists as he sees Louis car pull up on the driveway.

I'm too emotionally drained to panic or even fear for what's too come, all I can think about is why the hell is he here?

Harry stands up from his crouched position

"Get out the fucking car!" His voice is low and although the car muffles the sound I can still tell he's angry. 

"Stay here" I advise Louis 

I step out of the car and walk over to Harry but he doesn't even look at me, his eyes stare behind me 

I hear the car door slam and whirl around to find Louis making his way around the car

"Louis what are you-"

"Didn't want to leave without saying hello, that would be rude" his voice is full of, sass? 

Harry begins to walk towards Louis but I step infront of him and press my palms to his chest pushing him away

"Harry please, we need to talk" I try to look him in the eyes but his eyes are set on Louis

"There's nothing to talk about" He says through gritted teeth

"Oh, no, there's plenty we need to talk about" Louis crosses his arms infront of his chest. His stance is daring, as if taunting Harry

"What is he fucking talking about Alexandra Jane?" 

"I don't-" my voice is barely a whisper

"Tell him Alexandra Jane" I can hear the smirk on Louis face, why is he acting like this?

"Louis stop," I plead

"Tell him what happened at the clinic Alex" Louis presses but I remain silent

I feel the soft fabric of Harry's sweatshirt slip from my hands, I turn back to see him standing away from me, his eyes now meet mine and are blazing with fury. I watch his chest begin to rise and fall at a fast pace

"Is that why you left this morning without saying goodbye! Is this what you want to talk to me about? That you decided to go back to him! That you wanted him to take you to the appointment because you're crawling back to him!"

Harry's voice is hoarse and full of distress

"Harry that's not-" I try to reach for his arm but he pulls away.

"Tell me the truth! Tell me you want him and not me! It wouldn't be the first time that happened!"

"Of course not, she doesn't want me. And frankly I could give less a shit about her" Louis interjects

I turn to face Louis at the sound of his words, my eyes are wide and my arms wrap themselves around my waist

Louis speaks before I have time to ask one of the many questions that appear in my mind 

"Tell him Alex, tell him that you are infected with syphilis" His lips turns up into a smirk and his eyes flicker from mine to Harry's, waiting for a reaction from either of us.

I look over to Harry, his eyes go wide, and his lips part in astonishment and he turns his gaze to me. My vision blurs and tears begin to stream down my cheeks. I cup my mouth with my hand to try to stop the sound of my sobs but it doesn't work. I feel my heart hammering against my chest, making it hard to breath. Why is he doing this?

"You're lying" Harry's voice confident 

Louis looks from me then back to Harry, his eyes turn to shade of blue I have never seen before. Then he speaks

"I'm not actually, I would know, I'm the one that infected her"

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