The Consequence [Zayn Malik] ON HOLD

Part twelve; depression

After spending the past two days in bed feeling totally numb, I managed to convince myself that emerging from my bedroom and having something to eat would be the first step towards achieving something. Daniel hadn't arrived for the rest of his things, and Zayn had only rung once, probably to just check I was alright after what had happened on Friday. The weekend had dragged as I'd spent the entire 48 hours lying in the same spot, only getting up a few times to go to the toilet and to grab a drink from the Kitchen. It was then that I'd realised my whole house was a complete mess as it probably hadn't seen a hoover in at least two weeks.

Despite the fact that I wasn't hungry in the slightest, I decided that I needed to have something to eat before I ended up wasting away.

Pulling myself off the bed, my whole body ached from where I hadn't been moving around at all. With legs like jelly, I gently pushed the door open and grabbed one of Daniel's huge grey jumpers from the floor, still wearing Friday's outfit as I began wrapping it around my body securely. I headed down the stairs slowly, holding onto the bannister with a firm grip, trying my best not to fall as I had little energy due to the lack of food that I hadn't consumed for at least three days.

As I walked through the house probably looking like a ghost, I looked around trying to decide whether it was worth packing up the rest of Daniel's things into boxes before he got here. There was so much of his clutter lying around that he would probably leave the majority of it here for me to sort out. It was then that a nudging from the back of my mind reminded me that he probably wouldn't even bother coming back for the rest of his stuff.

I shifted into the kitchen and rumaged around the place noisily, looking in the cupboards for something to eat that didn't require me having to actually cook something. The cupboards were bare, and as I headed for the fridge, I was greeted by a foul smelling substance as I flung the door open. The whole place quickly smelt like sour milk, and in reaction to the overriding disgusting smell, I slammed the fridge door shut and decided on attending to that mess later.

I finally settled with a family sized packet of Doritos and headed back into the Living Room. My stomach was now growling loudly as I considered eating the food in my hand. On the way out of the Kitchen, I pulled a bottle of J2O from the box beside the door and shook it before pinging the lid off and letting it fall to the floor.

Exhaling loudly, I plonked myself on the sofa and grabbed the remote, flicking through the channels aimlessly until I was satisfied I'd found at least a half decent one. News headlines flicked quickly across the screen as a reporter stood with a sincere look on his face, his long fingers clenched tightly to a microphone as he spoke. I'd spent so much time refusing to live my life that I had no idea of what was happening outside in the real world.

I pressed the mute button so that the sound of the TV now flooded through the room through the little black speakers that were situated beside the television. It was hard to believe that the reporter's voice was the first I'd heard in over two days. The man had a thick Scottish accent which made me giggle immaturely when he said certain words, as he reminded me of my father.  It looked as though he was stood beside a huge lake which was surrounded by a couple of men dressed completely in white. The lake was cut off by a boarder that surrounded the water, and as I looked closely, it appeared that this particular news report was a little too close to home.

Along the bottom in huge, thick black letters read: 'local man drowns in lake'.

My stomach clentched slightly as I stared at the TV screen, feeling instant sympathy towards whoever had lost this person to suicide, or even worse, murder.

I didn't feel like watching the news anymore as I was in a low enough state of mind as it was. I fumbled around the sofa for the remote, becoming angered as I had only had it two minutes ago, but it still managed to get lost in the mass of cushions and magazines. I eventually found it and turned over to a comedy channel, feeling as if I desperately needed a good laugh.