Rebellious

Chapter 31

About two weeks later Brian was finally being released from the hospital. Brian smiled as he signed the release papers to get out of this hell hole. Sal was coming to pick him up and he just wanted to see Bella before he left the hospital. In all the weeks he had been there he couldn't bring himself to go into to the NICU room to see her. It hurt far too much to see her in that condition and the guilt of knowing he had caused it. Beth also didn't visit him again, he had heard from Sal that she spent all her time upstairs in the NICU with Bella. Brian had the nurse wheel him to the NICU once again but suddenly he felt extremely sick to his stomach as they got to the doorway of the unit. He tried his best to force himself to visit her but just couldn't bring himself to see his daughter like this. He couldn't see the pain he had caused his little girl, "Stop! I can't... I can't see her. Not like this." He whimpered.

"Okay. It's okay." The nurse said kindly, taking him back up to the front where Sal was waiting.

"Hey man." Sal smiled taking Brian's personal belongings bag from the nurse.

"Hey." Brian said, wanting out of the wheelchair. He got up and used the cane the nurse handed him. "What's the plan for today?"

Sal helped him in the Mustang and got in himself, placing Brian's bag in the backseat. "Jessa has a doctor appointment today and I promised her I'd go. She's kind of nervous and still toying with the idea of an abortion." Sal shook his head in disbelief as he drove.

"Is the adoption option still on the table as well?" Brian asked blandly.

"Yeah, unfortunately. But I am trying to talk her out of both options. I know she can be a great Mom, with or without the Father in the picture." Sal countered with a sigh.

"At least she has you around to help her out. I wish I had the same choice when it came to my daughter." Brian replied solemnly, staring out the window, as he was leaning against the door frame with his chin now resting on his hand.

Sal could tell that this conversation was starting to get to Brian and make him upset so he quickly changed the subject. "Did you go and see Bella?"

"No, I couldn't. I tried but I just couldn't go in there." Brian sighed. "That makes me a bad Father, doesn't it?" He asked not breaking his stare out the window.

"No, I don't think so." Sal spoke softly, yet truthful. "It makes you no different than you have always been Brian. You have always been a sweet, sensitive and caring guy. Just because you couldn't bring yourself to see your daughter in a bad way right now doesn't make you any less of a man or a Father. I know you still love and care for your little girl deeply. Don't let this accident or its outcome change who you are."

"I guess." Brian sighed a hint of doubt in his voice could be detected.

A few more minutes passed and Sal pulled up to Brian's house. He helped get Brian settled then looked at his watch. "Shit. I'm going to be late. I'll be back in a bit to check on you. See ya!" He rattled off before quickly rushing out the door, getting in his car and driving to Jessa and Beth's place.

****

Jessa waited for Sal to get there, she slowly got up sighing, she hated every minute of this pregnancy. Why did she have to be so stupid and get herself into this predicament in the first place? She heard the doorbell and picked up her purse, walking to the door, smiling at Sal as soon as she laid eyes on him.

"Hi, I thought you weren't going to make it for a minute there."

"Hey. I wouldn't leave you hanging. So are you ready to go?" Sal asked.

"Yeah, ready as I'll ever be." Jessa said, following him out to his car. "Thanks for taking me."

"Yeah, of course." Sal smiled, opening the car door for her. Once at the doctor's office, Jessa sat next to Sal in the waiting room as she filled out the necessary paperwork. Jessa picked at her nails as she waited for her name to be called. She looked up when a thin nurse in pink scrubs called her name. She looked at Sal, holding out her hand indicating that she wanted him to come in the room with her. Sal stood up with Jessa, taking her hand. "Let's go." He nodded.