Trapped

Chapter Four

December 8, 2059

The parking lot is empty, no one except me is here. I park my car and look up at the sign, 'Dr Eckhardt, MRCPsych.' Upon entering I'm greeted by a familiar smell, but I can't quite put my finger on it. There is a small hallway which leads to a waiting room with a reception. Next to the reception there is a small opening in which there is a door. There is no one behind the desk so I decide to hang my coat and just sit down. The chairs are the same as the ones my parents have at home, in the main hall. They must have been trendy at some point. I look around the room, there isn't much to take my mind off things. The walls are blank, there are no decorations except for a small statue of an owl on the reception counter. I guess it's supposed to represent something, but I'm not sure what it should be. The door next to the front desk clicks, a man appears in the opening. That must be doctor Eckhardt. He's a lot older than I expected, his face is quite wrinkly and his hair is completely grey. 'Do you want to come in?' he says while gesturing his hands to the door. I stand up and silently follow him into the room where I take a seat on a large comfortable chair. It feels as if this room is more carefully decorated than the rest of the clinic. It feels somewhat like home, which is soothing. Doctor Eckhardt settles himself across me on his chair. He asks if I would like anything to drink, but I decline. I just want to start, I want to fix myself. There is a small moment of silence, I'm not sure what to say.

'I am glad you finally came David.' Says Doctor Eckhardt in a calm voice. I don't know how to respond. I just made an appointment a couple days ago and have never been here before. Before I can say anything, Doctor Eckhardt continues: 'Did something bad happen?' I am taken aback by his question; how would he know this. I think carefully about what I am about to say, wondering whether I should tell him right away.

'A lot of bad things have happened.' I say softly. The doctor looks somewhat caught off guard, as if he expected me to be specific. 'It is true that a lot of bad things happen, but what specifically brought you here?' I don't like his question, it feels as if he already knows the answer. Doctor Eckhardt proceeds 'I have been a psychiatrist for a long time, I can read you like a book. It is ok to tell me.' His words and eyes are firm, he wants me to respond. I should tell him, it's what Anne would have wanted. 'My girlfriend, she ...' I choke up thinking of the words. 'She committed suicide.' My voice cracks up as it's the first time I have said it out loud. He nods his head. 'I see.' Doctor Eckhardt writes something down, but I cannot make out what it is. I guess it's not important for me anyway. 'Before we continue, I would like to talk to you about this process. You will have to come by every week, and I would like to talk about what has led you to this. This means we will dig in your past to reveal all factors. I will also prescribe you a light form of medication which will help you deal with your emotional state.' I'm having trouble absorbing what he just said, but it doesn't matter, I'm willing to do whatever it takes. 'That's fine doctor, it's what she would have wanted.' Doctor Eckhardt is pleased with my answer. 'We have gotten the direct cause, but it's important we talk about your past. Can you tell me when you first started feeling down?' I'm slightly confused since I don't remember telling him this was the case, but it doesn't matter. 'I guess it started when I was around four years old, the time I should've started at a regular school.'