Trapped

Chapter Ten

December 22, 2059

I feel very slow. Last week feels like a blur and I'm not sure I've been there to witness everything. The medication has taken a toll on me that I didn't see coming. It has done nothing except dim my memory, my well-being has not improved in the slightest. I did not have any form of distraction since I was not able to experience and remember new thoughts and events. The painful memories took a hold of me while I desperately tried to replace them with new ones. The only thing I clearly remember is taking that first pill, I got dizzy and decided to head to bed right away. There are some moments where I remember getting out of bed feeling worse than ever. As if a dark hole in my chest spewed out nothing but darkness, it reminded me of a few weeks earlier, just before I found Anne in the bathroom. This has been happening the entire time, I lost track of time after the third pill. I don't even know why I took more after the first one, maybe I had just given up. I got lost in myself and only thought about bad memories, is that what Doctor Eckhardt was after? I'm not sure how much more I can take, I want to be able to experience life now, not forget all of it.

'David? David!' I jump up as if I awake from a bad dream. I look around in shock, completely unaware of time and space. Doctor Eckhardt is sitting across from me, we're in his office. He looks at me with a slight smile. 'It seems you zoned out for a second there, are you alright?' I'm still trying to catch my breath from my sudden awakening. 'No I'm not alright doctor, I feel miserable. These pills that you gave me completely fucked me up! I'm not taking them anymore!' I burst out in anger, Doctor Eckhardt is visibly shocked by my reaction. 'I understand. We will get rid of them. Can you tell me what happened this week?' He seems to drop the prescription fairly quick, even though he was so persistent about it last week. I haven't even told him how bad the side effects were yet. I guess it doesn't matter, I'm just glad he is willing to drop it. 'I don't think I can tell you much about last week, ever since I took the first pill my memory has been vague. I can't even remember how I got here to be honest.' Doctor Eckhardt nods while he writes something down. I get the feeling that he is somewhat pleased with my answer, which is strange. That can't be a good thing, can it? He looks up from his notebook and says: 'I'm going to ask you a few questions to see if the medication had any lasting effects. It's important that you try your best to answer these questions as best as you can.' I agree by giving him a nod, that seems like something important. 'What do you remember from the time you should've started a regular school as a child?' I sure haven't forgotten about this, I even remember telling him about this in our first session. 'Well, I remember it very clearly as the moment I suddenly started seeing the world differently. Ever since that moment, things have felt bland and not as vibrant as before.' I peak in Doctor Eckhardt's notebook as he scribbles something down. In a quick glance I can see he wrote down: 'He still remembers.' He looks at me with a slight frown, as if he's thinking of something. After a couple of seconds he raises his head slightly and says: 'Would you excuse me for one moment, I just have to get something from the front desk.' I tell him that it's not a problem and he walks out the room closing the door behind him.

It takes him longer than I expected, getting something from out front should only take a minute. I'm not sure how much time has passed but it must be at least three or four minutes. I start to get impatient and think about leaving the room to make sure he is alright, maybe he can't find what he is looking for. The moment I decide to stand up the door opens and Doctor Eckhardt comes back in. 'Sorry about that, I had some trouble getting the right thing.' I was already half out of the chair so I slowly drop myself back down. Doctor Eckhardt approaches me with a glass of water and a small tablet. 'Well David, what you told me just now is very troubling. That is not the intended purpose of the medication I gave you, but it did lead me to the right sort of prescription. I have a prescription which only needs you to take a small tablet each week which should get you back on your feet. I brought one since it will help you regain some of your alertness right now.' He places the water and the tablet in front of me, expecting me to take them right now. I'm not sure if I want to take them. 'Are you sure this is the right step? Don't you want to ask more questions first? Do I have to resort to a different kind of medication right away?' Doctor Eckhardt gives me a firm look, he looks confident about his decision. 'Yes David, I'm very sure about this. Just take them, you will feel better. I can ask more questions after that.' I stare at the tablet in front of me. 'Fine, but if this doesn't work I'm not taking any more of them.' Doctor Eckhardt slightly nods. 'That's fine, but this will help you for sure.'

I put the tablet in my mouth and take a big gulp of water in order to flush it down. Doctor Eckhardt smiles and puts down his notebook. 'Great, now you will finally forget about all that stuff and I can continue with my work as usual. No more disturbances from you will make it a lot easier.' I don't understand what he is saying, disturbances from me? I try to say something but my head gets heavy and I have a strong urge to close my eyes. I feel my body waving sideways as I try to open my eyes. The world seems to be spinning as I slowly fade away.