Trapped

Chapter Six

December 8, 2059

Doctor Eckhardt looks surprised. 'What happened when you should have started school?' I take a small pause before I start. 'I remember being excited about starting school, in my mind there were new things to discover, a new world to explore. But something changed, and my parents decided to homeschool me. This was the moment everything around me changed as well, the house felt different, the garden felt different ...' I have to clear my throat to finish my sentence, the overwhelming sadness induced by this memory catches me by surprise. 'Even my parents felt different.' I look up at Doctor Eckhardt to observe his reaction. He has a slight frown as he writes something down in his notebook again. I wait for him to finish writing, unsure whether I should continue or that I should wait for a response. He looks up from his notebook and takes a deep breath. 'It is curious that you remember this so well, most children do not remember these moments at all.' I raise my eyebrow as I look at him doubtfully, I don't think a lot of children experienced this. The doctor continues. 'Many children do not remember these early memories for such a long period of time. Changes to environments and personal situations perceived so early in life are usually forgotten by the age of eight. It is strange that you memorize these so vividly.' I have a hard time believing the doctor is making a general statement. It can't be that rare, can it? I'm not in the position to doubt his knowledge, he is a licensed psychiatrist after all. It might help his diagnosis if I tell him more from this time. 'I also remember my first teacher very well, I never understood why she was replaced so quickly.' I say softly. Doctor Eckhardt scribbles in his notebook again. It must be important information for him to write it all down. As I'm about to continue, he starts to speak. 'Well David, I think we've uncovered enough for one session. It's important to spread out these sessions to not overload you with emotions. Is it alright if we continue this next week?' I look up at the clock, I've only been here for 15 minutes. I don't feel as if I made any progress, but perhaps I expected too much? It feels as if Doctor Eckhardt is trying to get me out early, but I don't want to argue with him. Even though I was hoping for more, I should accept his advice. 'That's fine with me. Will I be able to have a longer session next week? I think there is a lot to talk about.' Doctor Eckhardt nods. 'Certainly David, for now I just need to figure something out before I can truly help you.'

We stand up from our chairs and walk towards the door. Before we reach it, Doctor Eckhardt stops for a moment. 'We'll make some larger steps next week, don't worry. For now, I'm just going to prescribe you something that will help you through your daily activities. There is a form for you to sign at the reception.' As I follow him out of his office I manage to take a quick glance at his notebook. Near the bottom there is one sentence underlined. It reads: 'How does he remember?' I still don't understand why it is of such importance that I remember those particular events. Maybe I will find out in the next session. He did say he had to figure something out after all. We get to the front desk and Doctor Eckhardt pulls out a form from behind the counter. He places it in front of me and asks if I could fill it in for him. It seems like a basic form asking me for my permission and a signature. Even though I am hesitant about such a quick prescription, I trust Doctor Eckhardt's experience. I fill in the form and give it back to him, he takes the form and gives me orange coloured box filled with small tablets. As he hands them over he says: 'I've been prescribing these for years and they have worked for almost everyone. Make sure you read the label before taking them.' I give him an affirming nod and take the box. I get my coat and wave a goodbye as I walk out the door onto the parking lot.

I approach my car and put my coat in the trunk. I sit down in the driver seat and take out the box of pills. The label has a warning: SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE: DIZZINESS, HEADACHE AND MEMORY LOSS. Use with caution when operating a car or dangerous machinery. Limit intake to 1 or 2 tablets a day. I can't shake the feeling there is something that Doctor Eckhardt is hiding from me, the focus on the memories, a prescription that may cause memory loss and the short session lead me to believe something is not up to par. However, Doctor Eckhardt is the only licensed psychiatrist close by so my options are limited. I will have to give it a try.