It's time

Chapter 21

I'm so sorry if you don't like what I did with Lily making her cancer incurable but I'm sure you will forgive me, or I hope so.

One year. One fucking yeah to live!! I'm sixteen I shouldn't be worrying about death I should be worrying about what dress to wear to prom and what film to watch at sleepovers.

"How you doing?" Jay asked walking in to my room.

"Not too good" I said laying on my front.

"I'm so sorry Lily, do you want me to call Becca?"

"No I'm seeing her tomorrow, but I think ill tell everyone one when I come back from camping" I told him.

"Come lay with me" I asked him and he laid besides me and held me tight as if I was just going to disappear.

"Jay I don't want to die" I choked as I started crying.

"I don't want you to either Lily, I love you so very much" he kissed my forehead.

"I don't know what to tell Owen because just before we went to the hospital he broke down in tears saying how much I mean to him and if he loses me he won't know what to do" I sobbed.

"Shhhh, don't worry about any of that now, you just try and get some sleep. You'll need it if you are going camping" he covered me up and laid besides me because I didn't want to be alone right now.

"I love you Jay" I said before falling asleep.

******

Today's the day we all go camping and I'm not looking forward to it. I just want to stay in bed and cry but I can't do that. So I got up at seven in the morning, even thought I'm not meeting Becca till ten to go meet everyone else at half past, and got ready making sure I had everything in my bag, getting some breakfast, having a shower, doing my hair and putting a little makeup on.

When I'd finished I sat on my bed looking through old photos. There was one with me, Becca and Damon being our weird self, one of me and Jay dressed in our Christmas jumpers, one of me and Becca stuffing out faces with food as usual, one of Becca and Damon just laughing and having fun, one of me and Damon scaring Becca, another of my and Jay smiling and one of me and Owen sat together holding hands. I felt a tear roll down my cheek and I wiped it away quickly but I then felt another and another roll down and I couldn't stop it, they just kept coming and I didn't have time to wipe them away.

I heard foot steps out side of my door and shouted a weak, "Jay is that you?"

When the door opened Jay was stood looking at me then rushed to pull me in to his arms.

"It's okay Lily" he held me close, if Jay hadn't have been holding me up I don't think I'd be able to hold my own body up.

"You'll be fine my cheeky little L" he said using the nickname he gave me a kids.

"I hope so Teddy" I said. The name Teddy came from when I was about three and me and Jay were inseparable, we would go everywhere together and do everything together. When I had the flu he would always hug me and make me feel better. I said that he was like my own big teddy bear and from then on I always called him it, especially when I didn't feel well.

"Come on you have to be there soon" he grabbed my bag and put it in his car.

I pulled my coat on and shoes then headed for the car. Jay started the car and gave me a small smile.

"Don't tell anyone" I warned him.

"I won't, promise" he pulled away and set off to Becca's house. We didn't speak on the way there, I had nothing to say and I didn't feel in the mood.