Beautiful

15. Desperate for Him!

Desperate for Him!

Tierra walked into the church and hung her jacket in the hallway coatroom before pushing open the white double doors that led to the sanctuary. As she made her way down the center aisle she noticed there were a few people already kneeling in prayer in front of their pew. She slid into a row about mid-way down, and quietly knelt and spoke to God.

"LORD, I thank you for your mercy and for allowing me to see another day. Okay, let's get the obvious out the way. I know it's been a long time since I've come to you in any way other than rage. I know I've said some really bad things about you and to you. I blamed you for what happened to me, and for taking my father. I believed that you didn't care for me, but, I've come to see I was wrong. I understand now, that bad things do happen to all people, whether they are good or bad. It's life. It does hurt, and yes it feels unfair. But as bad as it is, there is plenty of good in life, if we only open our eyes and hearts to receive it.

"Father, you've met me on so many occasions, when I didn't even know you were there. You've been leading me back to you, calling me ever so quietly, just a mere whisper. I finally answered, the day Qu tricked me into coming here. I guess that was you." she smiled, behind closed eyes. "Then, you sent my mother to bring me back to your house. Now I come to you on my own, at least to pray. I don't know if I'm on the road you want for me. My career is a success, but that's all I have. I have nothing else, no one to share my success with. I know I've turned away plenty of men out of my anger and fear of getting hurt, after what happened to me. I was never promiscuous as some women have been after dealing with the same pain. Lord, I need you to help heal my heart, heal my wounds, my fears...my soul. Please heal the parts of me that those men damaged, and tried to destroy. Help me to see that all men are not here to cause hurt. Some are kind and gentle. Oh, and since I've never really dated before, can you help me to see the true nature of a man, at least his heart, and his intentions? Can you guide me to the man you would have for me? I need to learn to trust, to forgive myself, to trust myself, to trust you, and rely on you. Can you help me to do all that? I know I'm asking for a lot. I thank you for never giving up on me. I thank you for a second chance. I thank you for your son and its in his name that I pray,

Amen

She stayed on her knees a while, in meditation before she stood up. She turned her attention towards the pulpit for a moment before walking towards the back of the sanctuary.

"It's nice you see you came back, and inside this time," a female voice said.

Tierra recognized her from the first time she came to the church.

"Yes, I guess you were right. He did," she pointed to the sky. "Trick me, that is... and I'm so glad he did," she smiled, grabbed her jacket out of the coatroom and headed out the door.

The sun was going down over the tops of the buildings and the sky was a bright orangish red color. It was a beautiful sight, even though it was beginning to rain. 'You can't rain on my parade,' she thought, and she walked out the front door, pulled her hood over her head with a brand-new outlook on her life. For the first time it was a positive one.