All Roses Must Wilt (a Tom Hiddleston fanfic)

Chapter 35- There's Still Time

The minute Tom shuts the door behind him to go on his jog, I open my laptop, getting on Google. What am I doing, you ask? Something I will definitely regret, that's what. But it must be done. Right?

Let's see... Flights from New York to London. Tickets I can get immediately. I scroll down the web page a bit, debating on the best one. They're not exactly cheap... But I'll pay anything. I have the money.

When I find a good flight, I quickly take out my credit card, filling out the information needed to purchase a ticket. The cursor hovers over the enter button, and I feel myself pausing. Hesitating. And thinking. But I can't stop to think, I have to just act. I bite my lower lip lightly, furrowing my brow. I'm sorry, Tom. Please forgive me. I quickly press enter, and the form is sent. As I search for printers to print my confirmation papers and whatnot, I realize there's one in the lobby for public use. That will have to do. I'll just rush down there and grab it. Then I press enter once more and quickly head for the door. If I'm lucky, Tom will take a shower tonight before my flight leaves so I can leave without him knowing. Yes, it's cruel. I probably could have just talked to him about how I'm not comfortable with him settling for someone like me, but I feel as if I've already led him on too much. I can't turn back now. I have to just leave.

When I reach the lobby, I go to the front desk to ask for the tickets I just printed out. I have to show her my ID, of course, probably so that they don't think I'm stealing someone else's tickets. When they finally give me the ticket, I hurry back up to the hotel room. That took up far too much time for my liking... I still have to pack.

I'm almost done packing when I hear the front door open and shut. I quickly set my bags on the floor before Tom enters the room. I feel his arms wrap around my waist lightly as he hugs me from behind, planting a small kiss on my cheek.

"Have a nice jog?" I ask, smiling lightly.

"Yes," he says. "Thank you for asking. I think I'm going to take a quick shower."

I stiffen. "Now? Why not later tonight?"

"Well I just went on a jog, darling. I feel as if I should get clean. Is that not okay with you?"

"Not yet," I say, entwining our fingers. "Please just stay with me. You can take a shower tonight. Before five, maybe?"

He lets out a light sigh. "I don't know why you're acting so strange, but I'll do as you ask."

"Thank you," I murmur. "Do you... want to watch a film, maybe? I could make some tea. Or not. We could do something else. What do you have in mind?"

"A film sounds nice to me. Have any specific you'd like to watch?" He carefully pulls away from the hug, still holding onto my hand.

"You pick," I say. "I'll go make the tea."

I walk out of the room, his hand only leaving mine at the last second. I don't know if I can do this. Why did I ever think this was a good idea? But I can't turn back now, that'd be so much money wasted. What will Tom do after he finds out? After he's alone in this hotel room? Will he be mad at me? Upset? Knowing him, he will be more upset than angry. But what if it was finally his breaking point for him? What if today was the day he'd read my letter and quickly call me, his voice angry and booming? The thought terrified me.

I pick up the cups of warm tea and bring them into he living room where Tom is looking for a movie.

"Have you seen Frozen?" He asks.

"What? But... it's a kid movie, Tom."

He grins, looking like a child himself. "So what? I hear even adults love it."