Renewing our Vows

Chapter 7: "I just want to feel you"

***Alex's POV***

When I open my eyes, I can't figure out where I am. Norma is wrapped snugly in my arms and when I try to stretch my legs out, my feet make contact with the car door. Suddenly, the events of earlier today (or is it yesterday?) come flooding back. I look down at her peaceful face and notice smudges of mascara staining her cheeks. My heart sinks as I remember what the doctor told us. Your chances are not great plays over and over in my head.

Instinctively, my arms constrict around her and I pull her tighter against me. She stirs slightly before her eyes flutter open and she looks around in confusion.

She turns in my embrace to look at me and whispers, "It wasn't a dream was it? We really can't have a kid."

I stare at her for a moment, a lump forming in my throat and press a kiss to her forehead. "Let's go inside," I say, ignoring her question.

She closes her eyes and nods slowly.

..

It's dark and cold when we step out of the car and I realize I have no idea what time it is. When we reach the house, I take her purse from her arm and set it on the entry table before reaching down and scooping her up in my arms.

"What are you doing?" she protests as I walk into the living room and deposit her on the couch. I look down at my watch.

"I'm staying home with you today," I reply back, walking towards the TV and kneeling down to find a movie to turn on.

"Today?" she replies back, surprise coloring her voice. "Is it really morning already?"

"It's 4:30. Any requests?" I ask as I flip through her almost nonexistent collection of movies.

"Something happy, please," she replies back and I grab Charade, popping it into the DVD player and returning to the couch.

She snuggles into my side, leaning her head against my shoulder as I press my cheek to the top of her head. When the opening credits flash across the screen, I turn towards her and lift her chin with my finger, kissing her gently before saying, "Stay here. I'll be right back."

I race into the kitchen and put a pot of water on to boil. Then I run up the stairs, grabbing her favorite pajamas, a makeup wipe and hair tie before changing into my own pajamas. I grab the comforter and a pillow off the bed and head down the stairs. I set everything down next to the couch, ignoring her questioning stare and head into the kitchen to pour the tea. I grab a box of shortbread from the pantry and return to the living room. When she sees me approach, a beautiful smile lights up her face and I suddenly feel whole again.

"Thank you," she whispers when I set down the cups and begin the process of turning the couch into a bed. When I hold out her pajamas towards her, I expect her to go change in the bathroom. Instead, she reaches up and slides her sweater off her shoulders, letting it drop to the floor, all the while maintaining eye contact with me.

I continue to watch her as she unzips her skirt next, shimmying it down her legs and stepping out of her shoes. She pulls her shirt over her head and reaches behind her to unhook her bra. My breath catches in my throat when she lets it slide down her arms and my gaze falls to her chest. I reach out and skim my hands down her arms, reveling in the feel of her. She lets out a shaky breath and pulls my shirt over my head.

I realize in that moment that I don't even want to make love. I just want to hold her in my arms and feel her skin against my own. I reach out, pulling her against me and she leans up, expecting me to kiss her. Instead, I lace my fingers into her hair and hold her head against my chest.

I stroke her hair, sliding my fingers along her spine and she shivers.

"You know I love you, right?" I whisper.

"I love you too baby. Forever," she responds and all the tension leaves my body as I smile and squeeze her gently.

"Norma? Can I please just hold you right now?" I beg as she tries to reach around and undo the tie on my pants.

She pulls back, shocked. For a moment, I'm afraid she's mad at me but I recognize a hint of relief in her eyes. "Really?" She asks quietly.

"Yes, I just want to be here with you. I just want to feel you," I admit, staring deep into her eyes.

"Okay," she smiles softly, pulling me with her towards the couch. I lay down and wrap my arms around her, one hand holding her breast and the other resting on her hip. I feel the tension radiating off of her as she tries to focus on the movie.

"It's okay, Norma. I really don't need sex right now." We have had this conversation a couple times before now and I was beginning to realize she didn't know how to be intimate without sex.

She relaxes into me and lets her eyes close, a smile resting on her lips. "I'll get better at this, I promise," she whispers and I place a kiss to her temple.

After a few moments, she sighs and whispers, "Why do you have the magical ability to make me feel calm?"

I smile and say, "Norma, there's something I gotta tell you. I'm actually magical... I'm a unicorn."

She turns in my arms and looks at me like I'm insane. "You're a unicorn?" she asks, trying to contain her laughter.

I shake my head at her, feigning confusion. "What?"

She laughs and asks, "Is that what you said?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I say back, smiling at her.

She pulls me in for a kiss, laughing and tucking her head under my chin.

"You know, I was thinking," she says, stroking her hands up and down my back.

"What were you thinking about?" I ask kissing her head.

"I think I'd still like to try. I mean I know Dr. Granger said its very unlikely but that doesn't mean it's impossible."

I pull back to look into her eyes. "You really mean it?" I ask, smiling down at her.

"I really mean it," she says before kissing me deeply and stroking my cheek. "He did say it would take a miracle but that shouldn't be too difficult for you. I mean you are magical after all," she whispers, laughing.