Renewing our Vows

Chapter 10: Positive or Negative?

"What?" he whispers, the smile fading from his face.

"I think I'm pregnant," I repeat, reaching my hand up to wipe the tears from my cheeks.

He stares at me for a few seconds before he can speak, "H-how is that possible? How do you know?"

"Well I don't know, but I'm a week late and I'm just constantly thinking about sex lately. That happened both times I was pregnant before."

He remains frozen, his eyes wide, staring at me. After a few minutes, I whisper, "Alex? Are you happy?"

He must have noticed the slight quiver in my voice at the end because he finally snaps out of it. He blinks a few times, reaching up to cradle my face in his strong hands, always so gentle. I smile at him softly. It never fails to amaze me how careful he is, always concerned with my well-being.

Suddenly, he pulls my face towards his, kissing me fiercely and rolling me over so he is hovering above me. After a few moments, I laugh against his lips, whispering, "Alex, I can't breathe."

He pulls back immediately, resting on his forearms and staring down at me, his eyes soft and a smile spreading across his face. "Am I happy?" he asks, closing his eyes and laughing.

He becomes serious again when his eyes open. "There are no words for how I'm feeling right now." When he leans down to kiss my lips again, much softer this time, I feel completely content, totally at ease.

That is until he pulls back and I notice that his eyes have grown wary.

"What is it?" I ask, stroking his cheek.

He thinks about it for a moment, clearly trying to decide whether or not to be honest with me until he finally sighs. "I'm really scared that you're wrong."

Shit. I shouldn't have said anything until I knew for sure.

He watches me carefully as I stare at his chin, stroking the stubble on his cheeks, unable to meet his eyes quite yet.

"I know," I finally whisper. "But I just want you to know that if it is negative, we're still going to try, okay? I'm not giving up on this." He remains quiet for a few moments until I finally meet his gaze. I can see that he is still conflicted but I notice a slight shift in his expression.

His face has softened, full of adoration and love, but his eyes have grown darker. He kisses me again and I feel him beginning to grow hard against me. I smirk and glance down at where he's pressed against my inner thigh.

"So," he whispers against my neck as he leans down to kiss it softly. "You're constantly thinking about sex, huh?"

I giggle against his temple when his scruff tickles my neck. "Mm, you could say that." I sigh against his ear and roll my hips against his, teasing him.

He groans. "Well, why don't I help you with that, Mrs. Romero?"

***

I wake with a start, sitting straight up in bed. I can't remember my dream but I soon realize I'm shaking and I can't make sense of my surroundings. I glance at the table beside my bed, reading the numbers on the clock.

2:45 a.m.

The bed shifts slightly and I whip around to see Alex sleeping soundly, his breathing heavy and his chest bare. My heart swells with relief as my dream comes back to me in pieces. I lay down on my side, running my fingers over his cheek to assure myself that he's still here.

Suddenly, I remember last night and my hand falls to my stomach. I smile softly as images of a beautiful baby girl with brown curly hair and dark eyes, just like her daddy, flash through my mind.

I glance over at him once more and slip out of bed as quietly as possible so as not to wake him. I change quickly, slipping on my shoes, grabbing my bag and sneak out the front door.

***

I sit outside the gas station for a while, trying to gain the courage to go in. My head falls back against the headrest and my eyes drift closed.

My mind wanders to the first night Alex told me he loves me, the first time he kissed me, the first time we made love, our fake wedding day and our real wedding night. The memories slowly morph into visions of our future; both of us sitting on the porch watching our beautiful daughter playing in the grass, Alex, gray at the temples, dancing with her on her wedding day, and finally both of us swinging our grandson between us as we walk down the beach.

My eyes snap open, hands resting on my stomach. "I have to know," I whisper, grabbing the handle and stepping out of the car.

***

I look down at my watch for the fifth time since I sat down.

2 more minutes.

I wring my hands together, occasionally glancing over at the sink where the little stick is working its magic. My mind is totally blank as I wait, not allowing myself to be hopeful.

"It's not going to happen," I repeat numbly, over and over again.

When I finally look at my watch again, I realize it's time.

I exhale sharply, walking to the sink and reaching down to pick it up.

Positive.

I shake my head, staring at it in disbelief as if one of the little lines will somehow disappear. It can't be.

I pick up the box I threw in the trash and pull out one of the unused tests inside. I unwrap it and begin the process all over again.

After 5 minutes of agony, I pick up the second test.

Positive.

Tears fill my eyes and I can't contain the fit of laughter that spills out of me. When I have officially exhausted myself, transitioning between laughing and crying, I return to the car and drive home.

I walk into our room and am overwhelmed when I see him tucked in bed, right where I left him. I can't help the grin that spreads across my face.

I change back into my pajamas and walk around to his side of the bed. "Alex?" I whisper, running my fingers through his hair. He stirs slightly but continues sleeping.

I reach over and place the tests on his nightstand, leaning down to kiss his forehead before returning to my side and climbing under the sheets.

I snuggle into him, laying my head on his chest and his arms wrap around me gently.

The smile still hasn't left my face and I close my eyes, trying to somehow find sleep.