A Series Of Letters {Adopted by Palaye Royale}

Chapter Thirty-Two

***trigger warning***

It's October 12th. For us, it's a really big day. The movie that Remington does vocals for has it's red carpet and premier in just a few hours. He's still asleep, but I'm buzzing. I can count on one hand the amount of times I've seen a movie in cinemas. Sure, I watched them at Caden's house every other weekend, but Mom never took me to see them in theaters. 

Stephanie places breakfast in front of me. It's a pancake with butter and buttered rye toast. I have a thing for rye toast. I dunno how it started or why, but I love it. She places a glass of orange juice in front of me before sitting next to me. I dig in. It's nearly eleven, which means my body is desperate for food. Sebastian spent the night at Tree's and Emerson and Shy are upstairs.

"Honey! Can you get the door?" Stephanie calls as she washes the dishes. I nod, hopping down from the barstool and heading to the door, when the worst pain I've ever felt rips through my stomach. I scream in guttural agony as I double over and land on the floor. Stephanie screams my name and runs to me. "Call an ambulance!" She yells. I scream again. I'm in so much pain. It's a ripping, tearing pain rushing through my stomach. The rape didn't hurt nearly as bad as this. 

Then it hits me.

The baby.

!!!!!!!!!!!!

I whimper as more pain drugs are pushed into my IV. I'm straddling Remington's thighs on a hospital bed. I'm hurting so bad. There's blood in my underwear again. Not alot, but it's there. They just took an ultrasound and tried to get a heart rate. I didn't hear the outcome because Remington threw headphones on me. I'm kind of glad he did. Now, we're waiting for a blood test result. I may have just lost my baby...

This baby was...is...my world. I was so excited to meet them; but I want to do it at 40 weeks, not have a dead baby in my arms at only eleven. Remington's rubbing of my back calms me down, but not at the rate I need it to.

I decide to stay positive, and stop talking in past tense. I'm so excited to have this baby. They're gonna be so cute. I'm gonna dress them up. I'm gonna take them to the stars. They're my world. I love them. I'm gonna love them no matter what. Gay. Straight. Bi. Pan. Trans. Ace. Agender. Bigender. No matter what they are...they're my kid and I'm gonna give them the life they deserve.

I've soaked Remington's shoulder and he's soaked my hair with tears. We're all scared. Everyone else is just better at hiding it. Emerson and Seb are in the chairs near the corners of the room. Shy, Christine, Tree, and Stephanie are in the family holding room.

I hear a door...then a sigh and the clearing of a throat.

The ER doctor.