Clouded Soul

7

When we met at the basketball court and he saw me he rushed over and hugged me. He knew something was wrong though. I just didn't want to tell him what.

"Mercy are you going to be okay," he asked holding me by the shoulders.

"Yeah."

"What's up with you though? Something is wrong."

I shake my head and kiss him on the cheek.

"I'm good. Go home Jay."

He kissed his teeth and handed me my stuff. I knew he had took the time to fold it and pack it because Mama wouldn't have. I turned and walked over to Marcus's car and put my stuff in the back.

"You gon stay with Dominic," Marcus asked as I got in.

"I don't know."

Dominic had kissed me and it'd be weird staying with him. Besides what if something else happened this time? I sighed and messed with the seatbelt strap.

"You gotta stay somewhere or else I'll just take you back home. I ain't bout to let no girl wander the streets," he said his jaw ticking a little.

I didn't say anything so he pulled over at McDonald's and turned to me staring. I felt uncomfortable under the pressure so I just threw out an answer.

"Fine. I'll stay with Dominic," I mumble quickly.

He cranks the car up and starts driving again. The rest of the ride was silent except for the trap music blasting in my ears.

The whole ride I kept imagining what if they hadn't been riding by? Would I have been raped or would he just have killed me? Then the whole out of house thing makes it worse. I felt impotent and restless.

"Why you crying," I hear Dominic ask.

I'd been so lost in thought that I didn't even realize we were in Dominic's yard. So far into the depths of my mind that I was numb --- couldn't even feel the tear roll down my face.

"Sorry," I apologize quickly and wipe my face.

"Quit apologizing. What's wrong," he asked opening up my door.

I shook my head and got out of the car. As I brushed past Dominic, he shut the door and we both walked to the door. He twirls me around and grabs my chin so that I'm facing him, before we get in.

"Come on speak up," he said his eyes boring into mine.

I feel my eyes water and I start taking deep breaths to calm myself before I start crying. I'd cried too much tonight and I didn't have to.

"I just can't do shit. I couldn't fight that man but I've fought my sister many times. I can't get my mama to see shit my way and I can't stop crying. I'm pathetic," I said and he let go of my chin.

"Say some shit like that again and I'll beat yo ass," he said, pulling me inside with him.

...

Marcus had went home after it hit midnight so it was just me and Dominic. He turned the TV on for me and went to go make some sandwiches for us. He hasn't been anything but nice honestly. Maybe I could overlook him killing Joe and that dread head.

"You like mayonnaise," Dominic asks sticking his head around the corner to look at me.

"Yeah," I answer.

He came back a minute later handing me a plate and a glass of koolaid.

"Thank you," I say.

He sat down as he took a bite of his sandwich, nodding his head at me. He watched me as I took a bite of the sandwich. I awkwardly chewed it and stared back.

"What," I asked my hands starting to visibly shake. I was scared, thinking of why he might've been watching me like he was. After tonight I'm not trusting anyone except Javon.

"Nothing. Quit looking so scared. I told you I wouldn't hurt you," he said scrunching his face up at me.

I held my head down and mumbled an, "I'm sorry."

It was just silence after that. I couldn't even bring myself to look at him. Here I was in the house of a stranger who just killed a man for me and I'm scared of him. I felt selfish in a way.

It was silent up until Dominic turned off the TV and took up our plates.

"Time for bed. Don't you have school tomorrow," he asked walking down the hall.

I quickly followed him, tapping his arm as I did so.

"Where do...I sleep?"

"With me. My Mama don't get back until in the morning and her room is the only other room. So come on," he said walking into a dark room.

As soon as he turned on the light I looked around noticing everything he had in his room. He had a few trophies, some NBA posters, and a pile of clothes on the floor.

"Wait. I-In the same...bed," I say biting my lip nervously.

He doesn't answer instead he walks over to a dresser and pulls off his shirt. I turn my whole body away and nervously stand in his doorway. I hear shuffling and then I hear his footsteps grow louder. I turn back around hoping to meet a clothed Dominic but I had no such luck.

I jumped back, falling. Just before I hit the floor, he grabbed me by the waist. My mind was going crazy seeing how close I was to his naked chest. I pushed him away and crossed my arms over my chest shaking my head.

"I can't sleep in a bed with you," I state.

"Look if you gon be staying here with me, we have to establish a little trust. I'm not no wack ass rapist so chill out. Tonight was just another night. Forget about it and stop stressing. Damn."

I could only nod because he was right.