Chapter 9: The Jacket

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I dragged myself to school, ignoring everyone I knew. I didn't get a ride to school neither from my brother nor from Kylie. I shut off my phone so that no one could call me because what I realized the second I went to open the letter last night was that the envelope had already been torn open. I knew that Blake had opened it, I knew where he went when he saw what the letter was about; he went to see Daniel. I didn't want to hear their voices, trying to reassure me and comfort me. It never worked because they would never know what I went through. So instead I chose to block out the world. Before leaving the house, I chose to wear the athletic jacket I always wore when I was in this mood; that is when I shut everyone out. Luckily because I left the house early to avoid my mother and brother, I ended up getting to school bright and early so there weren't many people in the school hallways.

I stuffed my hands in the jacket pockets and wandered down the hallways. Eventually it was approaching the time school started, so there were more people hanging around the school hallways, talking to their friends. Every time I saw one of my friends or Blake, I would walk in the opposite direction. However, luck is never on my side, but then again, I think we've established that by now.

I had my head down, looking at the floor as I walked down the hallway once again, when I hear someone say my name. I turn around, wondering who it could be when not even a split second later, the person shoves me against a locker and growls, "Where did you get that jacket Alexis?"

I was already reaching my breaking point, and those words just shattered the fragile shield I had built to protect myself from my own memories. It was like the flood gate had been opened, and everything just came pouring out. I was overwhelmed with everything, and I could see Kylie and Jason rushing over to me as I felt myself lose my balance. But the last thought I had before passing out once again was that Cole called me by my real name, and not some dumb nickname. He had called me Alexis, not nerd, not bookworm, not even brainiac. That's how I knew that whatever he pieced together when he saw me meant that he knew. I didn't know how at the time, but I was certain he knew. It wasn't a conversation I was looking forward to in the least.

*****

Waking up to see a white ceiling with many little specks in it was definitely confusing at first. I realize that I'm in the nurses office at our school, but I don't see anyone inside the room. I crane my neck and see that behind the curtain, the school nurses is sitting at a desk. She hears me move because she comes over and asks me, "How are you doing honey? Is there anything you need?"

I shake my head and say, "I just have a headache."

"Do you want Advil to ease the pain?" she asks me.

"I'm fine, but thank you," I say, offering her a smile.

She goes back to her desk and I continue lying on the cot, staring at the ceiling. I hear yelling outside the office. The voices are muffled but I recognize Blake's voice, as well as Kylie's. There's a third person they are talking to, but I can't place the voice. Because the door is closed, I can't hear what they are saying, but I can guess that they are talking about me, but more specifically why I fainted. By now though, I've reached a point though where I don't even care anymore.

After a few moments of hearing them argue, Blake walks into the office. I can see the look of concern in his eyes as he glances at me. I feel like he thinks that it's his job to worry about me, as if he needs to take the place of our father. He eventually snaps out of his reflective state to ask, "How are you feeling Lexi?"

"I've been better," I respond, laughing nervously. Calling me Lexi brings back memories, tainted memories. There are two people that would call me Lexi, and neither of them are in my life anymore; neither of which were my choice. I remember that my father would call me that, and Daniel, who was at the time was very close to him as well would call me that too. Daniel gave me no choice though, but to not make him be a part of my life anymore. He made that choice for me when he did what he did that night; the night that ruined our friendship.

So instead of looking up at my brother and telling him that I'm alright, I avoid his face and stare at the ground because otherwise, I know he'll be able to see right through me. Apparently I just have that kind of personality where people just take one glance at you and can tell everything you're thinking, which let me tell you, is not practical at all. Especially at times like this where all I want to do is ignore everyone.

His intense gaze on me begins to irritate me because after a few minutes of him intensely staring at me, I yell at him, "Fine! I'm not alright, happy?"

"No A-"

"Blake stop, please. You of all people should understand that I can't just magically deal with this. I- I need time to process this alright. You don't just magically get over a plane crash and your father's death, Blake. You don't just magically get over the fact that you almost died, you don't just forget that you were left to die and drown Blake, so I'm sorry if I want to shut out the world. I'm sorry if I can't let you into my head right now because no one will understand, so it's better if I figure this out of my own."

"You can't forget that the friend you've known since you were five decided to start partying, and one night drank so much that he almost died, and you're the one that had to call 911 and see him in the hospital hooked up to ten different machines, and see his heart stop for thirty seconds even though you have a fear of hospitals. I'm sorry if I can't be the perfect sister right now Blake, because right now, I need everyone to leave me alone because I've reached my breaking point."

By the end of my monologue, my whole body is shaking and I have tears running down my face. I'm thankful that there are no other students in the nurse's office right now because I really wouldn't want anyone else hearing about my miserable life.

Blake looks at me with guilt in his eyes and says, "Alexis I'm sorry, I'll give you the space you need. I'm really, really sorry. I love you."

He leaves the room, and I feel my body shacking intensely. It's not just what the letter said, but everything it brought back. How am I supposed to tell a court room filled with people that a man deliberately left me to die? How am I supposed to relive that? Whenever I think about it, my whole body shuts down, and I lose the ability to speak. I want to help everyone that Joseph McArthur hurt, but what will I have to give up to be able to do that because I don't think I can do it without losing my sanity.

I lie down on the cot, tears streaming from my eyes when I hear a soft knock. I look at the door and see the shadow of someone hesitantly entering the room. I look down at the floor to avoid seeing the facial expression of someone cringing at the state that I'm in. I hear the person close the door behind them after entering the room.

A male voice that I would recognize in my sleep says, "Hi Lexi."

Never looking up, I say in a monotone voice, "Daniel."

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Hi everyone! I'm so sorry it has taken me so long to post this chapter. School has been keeping me really busy, but inspiration struck recently and produced this installment of The Bad Boy and the Brainiac. And yes, I did change the title of the story because I thought it was more fitting. You'll find out more about that later on. ;) Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and if you did please vote and comment! Also, any thoughts on what's to come? I'm thinking the next chapter is a trip down memory lane, so we'll see how that goes. Stay amazing!

-ShmonyClause

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