inevitable entanglements » a.i. + l.h.

19

Luke was sitting on his bed with the simplified version of Hero and Leander on his lap when Ashton came searching for him. Gabriel had dismissed the boy of all lessons so he could process what had happened that morning.

Normally Ashton would have left. He thought it to be very rude to disturb a person who's reading. But this felt urgent and Ashton doubted he could wait any longer. He entered the room without knocking and sat down next to Luke. The boy looked up with a lazy smile when he felt the bed dip.

"Is it pretty?"

Ashton asked, referring to the story.

"Yes it is. Not as pretty as the version you read to me though."

Or maybe it was just how the words tumbled from his lips. Or the fondness in his voice when he told Luke not to worry too much about the death of the two lovers, it was only a story after all, dramatised for the reader's pleasure. Why someone would read something sad for fun was something Luke couldn't understand, but then again, Hero and Leander was his favourite story so he shouldn't judge.

"You will still read me stories, right?"

Luke asked, looking up at Ashton through his eyelashes. The older boy smiled when he heard the question.

"Of course, whenever you want. Would you like to hear one now?"

"Will it be an old Roman one?"

"No," Ashton shook is head, "not this time. I'd like to read you a story I came up with myself."

A grin took over Luke features and he whispered: "In that case, I'd love to."

"There once was a boy who, like every other person in the universe, had a void in his body. In his soul, in his heart, in his chest. He didn't know where, he just knew it was there. It burned and itched and ached and he was afraid it would swallow him whole. Because unlike everyone else he wasn't able to fill the void. They used kisses and sweet touches and love. Their love didn't work for him. He didn't look at girls the way the other boys did. So he tried different things. He tried to fill it with crepes in the morning and stories and jokes about thieves. He poured the whole night sky into himself but he was still empty. It still burned and itched and ached and threatened to swallow him. Then one day, he saw a boy near the well. He was filling some buckets with water and flashed him a shy smile when he was greeted. His eyes were as blue as the water at the bottom of the well and the boy could feel the fluid soothing the void and filling it drop by drop. He wanted more, he was willing to choke on the water if it meant that he would get to see more of the boy, but he didn't manage more than a few stutters. So he left, because he would never be able to fill the void the same way everyone else did. He fell back on crepes and stories and jokes about thieves, but the night sky was already empty. As the days passed, the water dripped and evaporated until the void was as dry as the well in the summer. He walked to the sea, looking for some distraction. Oddly enough he saw a boy sitting on the rocks with eyes as blue as the waves that crashed on the shores. He smiled his shy smile again, which was accompanied by more stutters this time. The boy didn't want to leave again, he didn't want the feeling of the steamy ocean inside him to disappear. But the blue-eyed boy ran far, far away from his grasp and took the water with him. Desperate to fill the void once again, he went to the riverside the next morning. That's where he found the boy with eyes as blue as the water that streamed through the river. There was another shy smile and for the first time, a few sentences. He begged and begged, but the boy did not want to fill his void. So he lashed out and yelled at him, frustrated by the way the water slipped through his fingers. The boy disappeared once again, without another word and he could not feel more empty. The void was burning and itching and aching and threatening to swallow him whole. So he ran away, far, far away. Away from all the people who filled their void with this awful thing they called love. When he ran and ran and ran he saw a desert and he stumbled upon a boy with eyes as blue as the tears that streamed out of them. There was no shy smile, nor were there any words, because the boy had scraped his knee and he was sad. He crouched down beside him to wipe away the blood and the tears, two liquids he'd rather not fill his void with. But once the pain had faded and the tears and blood had dried, the boy grinned and uttered a few sentences. He let him touch him and kiss him and love him. And combined with the blueness of his eyes, that was enough to fill the void forever."

Ashton sighed and looked at the boy beside him with eyes as blue as his bruises.

"Did you like it?"

He asked, his voice barely a whisper.

"Yes, I loved it."

Luke replied. Both brothers had a knack for telling stories, he thought, especially if it concerned feelings similar to their own.

"Even if the boy liked another boy?"

"Yes. It was obvious that he loved the boy with the blue eyes, so it should not matter that they were both boys."

"Would it matter if I told you that I crave the touch of your lips and long to find out what they feel like pressed against mine?"

It felt as though all air got sucked out of Luke's lungs and the blood dried up in his veins. No, it didn't feel pleasant at all. On the contrary, it actually hurt. The son of the duke, who had been leaving marks on Luke's body and soul with his hungry fingers, told him that he would like it if he kissed him and the only answer he could come up with was:

"Would it matter if I told you that I wouldn't mind that at all?"

*

Ashton was certain he would never forget the look on Luke's face when he explained romance to him. It turned out he didn't know all that much about relationships, especially not homosexual relationships. He had seen very few acts of true love in his life and therefor didn't understand the concept of romance. Most of the lovers he knew were fictional and only lived in the stories that Ashton read to him or the ones he had learned to read by himself. Ashton was bound to teach him all about it and smother him with love. He had to admit that he was a little afraid Luke's image of romance would be drowning in the sea and jumping off a tower (which was what they did in Hero and Leander).

"So, can I-" he sighed, momentarily looking down at his hands, "can I kiss you now?"

Luke's stomach churned when he heard the question. He knew he had told Ashton that he wanted it too, but that had been in the spur of the moment. He had been too excited and confused to think clearly.

Truth was that the thought of his lips touching someone else's made him sick.

Ashton seemed to have noticed his hesitation, because he said:

"You can pull away whenever you want to. I won't touch you."

Luke bit his lip, wanting nothing but to please the brunette, yet disgusted at the thought of kissing.

He reminded himself of Leander who swam to the other side of the ocean to kiss his lover Hero and here he was, sitting right across Ashton, too afraid to move.

"O-okay."

He eventually murmured, utterly quiet of course.

They shuffled a little so they sat criss cross opposite each other. Ashton sighed, wanting to find the ultimate combination of taking the lead and giving Luke full control. The blond tilted his head a little and he mirrored his actions, tilting his head to the other side of course, so they wouldn't bump their noses together. Luke closed his eyes, hesitantly leaning in.

It felt weird, he thought.

His lips tingled and Ashton kept his word and didn't use his hands to keep him glued to his face.

They sat there for an absurd amount of time with their hands lying limply on their lap, waiting for one another to pull back. Their lips were touching but they were frozen, neither of them dared to move.

Ashton didn't want to pull away. He liked this. He had kissed some girls before, but this was his first time kissing a boy. It wasn't the change of gender that mattered though, it was the fact that he was kissing someone he loved.

In the end, Luke was the one who detached their lips. He looked at his hands, who were battling one another once again, constantly pinching and scratching each other.

"Are you okay?"

Ashton failed to hide his worry and his voice cracked mid-sentence.

"Yes."

Luke replied.

"I liked it."

He whispered ever so softly.

"So did I."

A/N

Not as good as I wanted it to be, but here you go.

Sorry I didn't update on Saturday!