She Loves Control

Secret Love Song

Oh, why can't you hold me in the street?
Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?
I wish that it could be like that
Why can't it be like that?
'Cause I'm yours

Anastasia
The next morning was the same as any other. The only thing was the fact that Zayn would be leaving in exactly one month today. In the last twenty -four hours, I found out that my father is completely in love with Harry Styles. Over dinner Dad told me how amazing he did in high school and college. Excelling in everything he did. I internally gagged while rolling my eyes. All he talked was about Harry. Even mentioning the fact that he was single and good looking.

'He's running the school with me?' I almost scream.

'Vice principal.' He smiles slightly.  "But he will be doing a bit more than that. It's a partnership.'

'But this is our school. It has our last name.' I over emphasize the word 'our' to make sure it got through to him.

'You need to marry soon.' He said. 'My time is coming and I don't want you handling the school on your own.'

What? Where the hell is this coming from?

'What? So you think I can't do it? You think because I'm a woman I can't handle my own?' I slam my lesson planner down harshly with a loud thud causing my father to flinch the slightest. I canceled my anger management classes. Big mistake.

'That's not what I mean, button. I want to see you happy.' He says and stops typing to take a bite of his lasagna.

'Well what's that supposed to mean Dad? I'm happy with out a man screwing up my life.'He sighs and says nothing.

'Harry's a good man.' He mutters after a long silence.

'Drop it.' I snap.

'Anastasia! Hear me out.' He tried

'Just fucking drop it.'

'Savannah needs a father.' He coughs.

'Fuck off' I spat.

That's no way to talk to your father, but I felt like he's trying to force me and Harry together. The more he tried, the more I resented Harry.
My phone buzzes twice

IMessage.
Father; What time will you be in work. You needed to meet your new vice principal and go over the class he will teach.

I reply immediately.

Me; I'll be in at six-thirty.

Father; I love you button. I want you to be a successful woman. I just don't want anyone running over you.

I set my phone on the dresser and look over the new schedule Zayn sent me for the day through my computer.

7:15 AM; Meet with Mr. Harry Styles and discuss classes he's teaching.

7:40 AM; Miss. Anastasia gives Mr. Harry Styles a tour around Campus and shows him to his class room.

8:00 AM; Meet in 'Board room B' for further discussion about payments. 

" Meet me in Board room B after class. I've missed you" I whispered to Zayn in his ear. The children were so oblivious to our wrong doings. He looks at me questionably. "Got off my period."

"I'll see you in fifteen." He pats my ass.

8:40 AM; Classes begin. Mr. Harry Styles will observe Mr. Zayn Malik.

This was all bullshit. I can and I will run the school on my own. I'm capable of it. I just wish Dad believed in me. I know mom did.

I tiptoed quietly past the smaller room across from mine and into the kitchen. I turn on the coffee machine and pop in a cappuccino, while setting my 'worlds best mommy' mug under it. Then I put water in a pot to boil on the stove.

After the water boils I take two packets of oatmeal and set it into the pink princess bowl and a plain brown bowl. Pouring the water over I try my best not to spill the hot water any where. I walk over to the refrigerator, scanning for butter. It was half empty but it would do. I literally have no time for grocery shopping and Martha was sick. So I gave her the week off.

After finishing making the oatmeal, I walk over to the unnecessarily huge pink room. But I loved spoiling my baby girl. She deserved the life I never had.

I switch on the pink lights and pull back the sparkly pink canopy. Pink pink pink. Everything in her room is pink. From the ceiling to the rugs. We are the exact same in looks but totally different in taste. I love Black she loves pink. I preferred pants but she wanted tutus and tiaras.

Our personality's are completely different. She's a complete sweetheart, kind and caring. Always sharing with the other children in her class. She never talked back and always did as told. Never a fight. To be honest I'm happy I didn't get a child that was like me. I know when she got older we'd never be in agreement if she was anything like me. But she wasn't and even if she was I'd still love her the exact same.

"Wake up baby." I pull the pink silk covers off of her. "i've got apple cinnamon oatmeal for you."

"And bacon?" Her accents fell thick in my ears.

"No bacon, sunshine. Let's get dress really quick okay?" I rub her raven black hair.

"Can I wear my pink tutu? You promised mommy." Sighing I knew there was no fighting it.

I saunter into her walk in closet with her close behind. Pictures of every princess decorated her pink walls. Including Moana. The color gave me a hard core headache. The top shelves consisted of all her shoes. Which was kind of dumb of me because she wouldn't be able to reach. I picked up one of her various pink tutus and held it up for her to see.

"Not that one mama."she pointed to the one next it. It literally looked the same except the one she wanted is sparkly.

I pull out a black shirt with the words 'Mommy's Angel' written in pink sparkly letters. Lord help me.

After putting in her shirt and tutu, I grab her flower crown, earrings and necklace. Placing them on her perfectly.

"Okay sunshine, lets go eat."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Having Savannah get dressed before she ate was a big mistake. She's only three in a half so she's still learning how to hold the spoon correctly. I should have known not to leave her by herself for ten minutes. Even if it was to brush my teeth. It set us back fifteen minutes but of course I was sill early. I had to redress her and that definitely wasn't a blast.

I quickly put her in a red tee shirt that said 'play date material' and white shorts. Of course she was sad because it wasn't pink.

"I promise to have Martha put your tutu in the cleaners baby." I pull the seatbelt over me and start the engine.

"Okay mommy." I watch her in the rear view mirror playing with her fingers.

"You remember the game we're playing right? I'm not your mommy. I'm Miss... okay?" I put the car in reverse and Back out cautiously.

"Okay. I don't like this game anymore." She whispers.

"I know baby. But no one can know you're my daughter." I'm a shit mother. I know.

"Why?" Always so damn curious.

"It's a secret. But we can't share it" I say

" but why mommy?" She pushes.

"You won't understand. End of discussion Savannah." The rest of the car ride was quite. And the guilt is weighing heavily on me.