She Loves Control

Love You Goodbye

Oh, why did you have to walk out of my life
Hey, hey, hey
Oh, even though it's over you should stay tonight
Hey, hey, hey
If tomorrow you won't be mine
Won't you give it to me one last time
Oh baby let me love you goodbye

Anastasia

After Zayn cleans us up he falls right asleep. He lays his head on my chest and snores away. I slowly flip us over so that I'm the one laying on his chest. I try my best to fall asleep but I just couldn't. I stay up starring at his ceiling, they are covered in glow in the dark stars. Stars are Savannah's second favorite shape, after the heart. Pink heart to be exact.

She comes home from class every single day with a pink sparkling heart she drew. She puts them all over the corridor halls and my bed room walls.  Tonight Savannah was staying with Hannah. Hannah calls it 'Aunt- Niece bonding time' I took advantage of that to come talk to Zayn. You see how that worked out.

But hell, things haven't been working out my way since last week.

I shuffle over a bit causing Zayn to groan. I look over at the clock, it read one - twenty two am.

I toss and turn all night trying to get a wink of sleep. I stay awake thinking of Harry and how our marriage would turn out. 

Would be physically hurt me if I pushed him too hard?

Would he hurt Savannah?

Would he force a baby inside of me?

Would he cheat on me?

All these questions made me feel broken down in a way. It made me feel like I'm loosing the control I never had.

When I wake up the next morning Zayn is already out of bed. I climb out of his bed and walk over to the mirror in his bathroom. That girl who was staring back wasn't me. One of my space buns on my head was gone and it looked like I was a baby goat. Weird comparison, but it was true.

I'm getting married in thirteen days and I've done nothing to slow it down or stop it. I haven't even got Harry to change his mind. Maybe I'm just not mean enough to him or maybe me fighting it turns him on.

I don't know if Im more worried about getting married or going back to school tomorrow. We have the day off since it's Presidents' Day.

I use the toothbrush I left here to brush my teeth. I quickly wash my face and attempt to brush my hair down with one of Zayn's many brushes. He is obsessed with his hair and takes his time to do it. Zayn is obsessed with himself but not in a cocky or overconfident way.

"Anastasia? Where are you?" Zayn calls.

"Bathroom." I reply.

"Well your dad texted." Zayn opens the bathroom door. He wraps his arms around me and hands me my phone.

I unlock my phone and read what it says;

Father; Harry has something special planned Savannah. He's going to take her out... On like a daddy-daughter date.

Oh hell fucking no. Harry and my father both got me fucked up if he thinks id let savannah go with harry without me.

They've got me all the way fucked up on this one.

My phone buzzes once more.

Father; He told me that he is going to take her dinner and to see the movie 'Coco'. Savannah will be safe.

I put my phone on the counter. But then it buzzes again.

Father; As for you, you'll be spending the day with his sisters Diana and Gracelyn. He will be at your house in thirty minutes. Pack over night clothes for both you and Savannah. You'll be spending the night with him and all three of you will walk into school together the next day. Do as I say or loose everything.

I feel nauseous. And I don't really know if it's because Zayn didn't use a condom because i am not on birth control. It caused me to gain weight rapidly

Or the fact that Savannah is going to spend a whole day with Harry and I'm not going to be there.

At the pit of my stomach I felt something forming. An uncomfortable sensation. My stomach began to growl. Acid rose up from my stomach to my throat.

I ran to Zayn's toilet and lift up the seat to let all the contents from yesterday's lunch. I skipped dinner because of my... meeting with Zayn.

My stomach contracted violently and chunks of food flew out of my mouth and into the toilet. Zayn held back my curly hair as I heaved once more. The smell was so putrid it causes me to throw up once more.

"It's okay, Anna. Just breath." Zayn rubs my back and keeps my hair from falling in my face.

My stomach is completely empty, now I'm just gasping for air. My stomach finally stopped contracting and I was finally able to breath. Zayn's gets a clean wet rag and cleans my face with it. He helps me up on the bathroom counter. Grabbing my toothbrush he puts toothpaste on it and brushes my teeth for me.

I chuckle slightly, " I can do it myself you know."

After we shower. (And yes together and no there was no sex involve.) we get dress.

"Hey, I made breakfast." Zayn smiles as I finish buttoning up my shirt. It was one of the many shirts and other stuff I've left here at Zayn's. Including, jewelry, underwear, bras and shoes.

"Oh. Z, I'm so sorry. I-I." Should I tell him I'm going out with Harry? Or just say I'm busy.

"You're going to be with Harry?" His smile falters. I hate the fact that Zayn can read me like an open book.

"It's not my choice." I sigh grabbing my purse. "Its Savannah, Him, me and his sisters." I walk over to the mahogany door, pulling it open.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Zayn really doesn't need to know that Savannah and I will be spending the night at Harry's.

"Yeah. See you." He hugs me tightly. With a final goodbye I leave. It honestly felt like I was leaving him forever.

"Anastasia," he calls. I turn around facing him. "I love you." He lets a single tear fall down his right cheek. I know he doesn't mean that in a friendly way.

My heart stops. This is the second time he has told me this.

"Goodbye Zayn." I turn my back to him and walk out the apartment building to my car.