Breathe Again

For Forever

Two weeks later

    I woke up from a deep sleep and sat up and took a look at the time. It was Monday, and my first day back at school since what happened. I walked downstairs to eat something my mom was having coffee.
     "Hey sweetie, are you hungry?" She asked me
      "Uh yeah kinda" I said and walked to the stool at the counter.
        "Ok, and how do you feel, are you sure you are ready to go to school today?" She asked me with a concerned look on her face and gave me a bowl of cereal.
         "Yeah, I think I'll be ok" I assured her.
         "Ok well if you feel uneasy at all, go to your guidance counselor Ms. Margaret, or call me" she gave me a hopeful smiled and gave me a hug.
"Got it mom" I hugged her back.
"I love you, I have to go to work, I'll see you later" she kissed my head and headed off to work.

At school

I walked in the halls, every where I went people turned and looked at me, they whispered. People were coming up to me and telling me they were sorry and giving me hugs.
   I walked into class and sat down. I opened my notebooks and a note fell out of one.
GOOD LUCK WITH TODAY, YOU THINK ALL EYES ARE ON YOU BUT THEY ONLY CARE ABOUT ME! ~ M.I.A
I scanned the room. This is the 4th note I've gotten since the funeral. Then someone tapped my shoulder and I jumped and turned around and saw Colin.
"Hey, did I scare you?" He asked me with a laughed. I slammed my notebook shut and nodded.
"Yeah, just a little" I laughed.
"So what are you doing later, I can help you with catch up work if you want?" Colin offered.
"That would be great but I have football after school today" I responded
"Oh' Colin looked disappointed 'well maybe another day, go sharks" he smiled and went to his desk and class started.

Football practice

God I hate this sport so much! I walked on the field, I the guys we high fiving me and fist bumping me. I don't wanna be here.

Flash back

I watched from the rails of the stair case as my parents fight.
"Jason he doesn't want to play football, what is the big deal?" My mom raised her voice at my father
"He will enjoy it and make friends, I don't know if you noticed but Colton is not great with making friends, he needs a shove" my father gave a tone and my mom didn't like that.
"Listen there is no problem with the way he is, he has friends and doesn't need you to shove him into something he doesn't want!' She paused "are you afraid he is going to be bullied?" She asked him.
"But he will get bullied, he gonna get bullied because his only friends are his cousins and he if he doesn't play football! Kids in my school didn't play and they were called all kinds of things! Thy were called weak, gay, and loner, Etcetera!" My father yelled.
"So what' My mom paused and my dad gave a confused look. 'So what if he is gay, or weak or a loner, we will love him the same' she said but my dad didn't answer, 'well I will at least, because he is not going to be perfect but he is our son and he is perfect in my eyes and as long as he is happy I am just as god damn happy as he is!" My mother yelled at my father with every fiber of her body.
"Just one year, and if he hates it he can quit" my dad offered
"One year, that's all if he hates it you can not make him stay do you understand me?!" My mom raged and my father nodded. Guess I'm playing football.

Back to present

The coach called all of us over into a huddle.
"Ok so today we are gonna work on teamwork, but first I would like to welcome back the Rosewood shark's best football player Colton Dilaurentis!" Everyone clapped as the coach welcomed me. I just want to go home.

Home

I sat at home doing homework. Then there was a knock at the door. I went and opened it.
"Hi Colton, is your mom home?" Aria asked me.
"No but she will be here any minute, is there anything I can help you with?" I asked her
"No I just need to talk with your mom, do you mind if I stay and wait?" She asked me
"No of course not I'm just doing homework, do you want a drink?" I asked her.
"No I'm ok thanks" she answered and sat on the couch. When my mom came home they went into the back room and talked for a while. Then I got a call on my phone. I picked up
"Hello?"
"Hey, it's Colin, are you busy or can you hang out?" He asked me.
"I'm not busy I'll come over now" I responded and left a note on the counter and left. I walked down the street to his house. No one was home but him. I walked in and we watched a movie and helped me catch up on stuff.
"So what's it like being a huge football star at school?" Colin asked me.
        "Uh it's cool I guess" I answered
         "I really liked football, but lately I don't know it just seems like something that should be in my past" I answered him and he nodded
           "I get that, I used to play but I quit because I didn't like it" Colin smiled at me
          "Well my dad forced me to play, he didn't want me to be bullied" I responded
           "Well I don't think you would have been bullied" Colin assured me
            "Thanks, he was afraid they would call weak, gay, a loner Etc." I started to put my head down.
             "Well you certainly are not weak"  Colin laughed with a reassuring smile.
              "Thanks" I smiled back. Then I saw Colin come closer to me. He grabbed my face and our lips hit each other's. It was weird, it was new and I didn't hate it. I started to kiss him back. Then I pulled away.
              "Wait are you.... gay?" I asked him Shocked
               "Well yeah, that's kinda why I'm kissing you right now and why I've been hitting on you for like a year now" Colin laughed
                "But you were with my sister" I said confused
                "Yeah my parents don't know yet, so I had to have a girlfriend and it had to be her if I wanted to get close to you" he smiled at me
                 "Wait what about you? Am I just making you uncomfortable, because I'll stop" Colin got nervous
                  "No, no, no. Lately I've been feeling weird and all turned around but I feel like you kissing me answered a lot of questions for me" I responded and started kissing him again.
     I pulled away from him. I grabbed my stuff and said.
         "I have to go, I have see my mom, I'll see you tomorrow" I smiled and he nodded. I went home and shut the door and smiled. I think I like Colin. Then I turned my head and saw my mom. Oh crap what will my mom say!