Dorl+ THE SEQUEL ✔️

Feelings

Remember how my dad and step-mom hated my hair? Well I wrote a whole chapter about it and I never posted it:
This is what I wrote:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Guys... I said this before.. but my dad and step mom HATE my hair. Idk why... they just do.

Let's start with my dad.

He... hates it. And he... tried talking to me about like it was something really personal.

And my step mom....

She took it to another level.

She didn't talk to me... FOR THE WHOLE TIME I WAS THERE!!!!!!!!! (I'm at my moms now thank god...)

At first I thought something was going on... but I wasn't sure. It was just before dinner when she saw my hair... and my dad and her both didn't eat dinner that night... which makes me feel awful.

The second day... she definitely was ignoring me. We didn't say a word to each other.

Today... (well actually yesterday cuz it's 2am) she talked to me at the very end and said "I was really... upset. I'm still upset now and hopefully next week I can talk to you without getting mad... just know that I love you!"

I CANT BELIEVE SHES THAT UPSET ABOUT A HAIR COLOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!

And dad said that they were mostly upset because now "people will look down on me."

BUT THEY ARE DOING THE EXACT SAME THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And he said I might not get a job now... 1) I'm thirteen... I have your money, I don't need a job. 2) there was a lady at Starbucks who had dyed her hair!!! And she was right at the front of the counter!!!

I honestly just can't believe that 1) they don't like my hair (actually it wasn't that surprising bc they NEVER like it when I dye my hair 🙄) 2) that I'm not listening to music rn!!!!!!

*turns on music*

That's better!

Ok back to my parents...

More specifically... my step mom.

(Notice that I'm called her step mom now... only bc I Don't wanna type out "bonus mom" and also that's kinda our relationship rn...)

Also... she was talking to the rest of my siblings!!!!!!!!!

I felt left out.. and every-time we were in the same room... the tension was... well... tense!

It was very immature of her...

I can't believe she's so upset about the colour of my hair...

It's stupid and immature!

🙄

I mean... LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL HAIR!!!

Also... this is the first time I have had the confidence to show my face...

When I first dyed my hair... I was SO HAPPY.

It was indescribable how happy I was...

And they crushed it like a bug.

Thanks...

🙄

If I could ask them a question and they had to Answer honestly.....

Why?

Why hate something I love?

Why ignore me? What good will that do?

Do you not care about my opinion?

Why can't you... just... idk... accept my interests more???? Maybe try doing something I like?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's now a week later... and... well...

Something happened.

Dad actually understood me. He asked to watch one of my edits, (crafted_rl on instagram), and I showed him how I did it. I felt connected to him again....

But then my step-mom came and talked to me.

I don't like crying. I feel week. Which is kinda funny bc when I was younger I cried a lot. (I'm a happy person btw, it's just that things upset me easily back then)

When she talked to me she was crying, which is something she doesn't normally do. So of course I cried. Idk why... it wasn't that big of a deal... it just scared me that she was crying.

After that I was so focused on NOT crying that she thought I was mad at her.

And this is taking so much courage to say that I cried... but it's natural.

Then... something else changed.

She got me new clothes, and they were my style. NOT pink. NOT little girly. It was a black plaid button up shirt. And we were connected again, bc I felt like she understood me.

And then there was my brother.

He is 7 years old and likes to cause trouble. He cry's a lot... and does think that are mean.

My dad and stepmom think it's because he has a brain difference, but my mom disagrees. I honestly don't know at this point...

Well he acted up again. Since my stepmom has been really emotional lately, she started crying.

And some other drama happened. There was yelling. Everyone is good now btw.

And then... for some reason... we disconnected again. Idk why... it was like it triggered me or something.

I think it was bc she yelled at my dad... and that scared me.

And nothing happened after that.

Also I'm not trying to make you guys feel bad for me or anything... I just need to rant and tell my feelings. It's how I cope.

I have so many other feeling rn... I just can't express them. Maybe I can try emojis....

😫😓🤔🤗😂☺️😔😣😡😑😰😢🙄💩

The last one pretty much wraps it up... I feel like crap.

But not JUST crap. A lot of other feelings idk how to say or express.

I also wanna just scream REALLY REALLY loudly without anyone knowing.

But that's kinda impossible 😂

I would love to say I'm fine. But idk if I am.

I don't want you guys to worry too much.
Seriously don't worry... it's going to be ok. I'm a positive person. I can get through this. I just needed to rant. I needed to vent out my feelings.

I'm... fine?