After the rain

Term end

  hello.

  i'm back.

  did you miss me?

  i cant't hear you.

  i think that's a 'no'.

  after all, i have faded from existence. in the realm of people's short memory.

  and you will follow me soon. it is just a matter of Time.

  i suppose this is the tragedy of living.

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  The sky is as old as the earth. To us it seems to stretch indefinitely, it appears to go on forever, continuously expanding and growing. Although it is as old as the earth, the earth seemed to fade away so much more quickly, but perhaps this was due to environmental degradation, which affected the earth more than the sky. Or did it? The additional greenhouse gases would kill the sky, would it not?

  I used to attend a mission school. They told me that faith, love and hope would last forever. They were the only pillars that could stand against the floods of time. Faith was a solid pillar that could never melt. It was the tree in the field that never seemed to wither, the tree that scorned the hot weather and heavy rains. It stood there, indefinitely.

  Hope resonated with everyone in this final year of education. We pressed on, worked hard and gave our very best, all in hope of getting into the top universities. It was that hope that drove us, the hope for a brighter future, a life better than our already comfortable ones. This hope was working, because no one wanted to give up without a fight. At least not in this school.

  We now come to love, as limitless and unfathomable as the sky. I-

  I stopped there, I could not write any more.

  After all, I had no experience with love.

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  'A minute, Daniel, I will release you soon,' the Teacher dismissed his plea to go for break on time.

  The minute stretched into five then doubled to ten. It was math lesson. I wonder how our Teacher got the job.

  Ten minutes later, our classmates were rushing out of the class. Some remained behind because the queues were too long. 

  Eventually, there should be an even number of the same type of molecules everywhere. What I mean is, every part of the world should have a nitrogen concentration of 78%. Am I right?

  No. Sulfur mines have more sulfur. That's true. It's never equal.

  'Len.'

  'Len!'

  I felt a strong vibration when my table jerked backwards. Hence, I looked up.

  I saw a delinquent dressed in the uniform of a scholar. He was coloured in blue and white, neatly wrapped with a tie. His right leg was on my desk, and his hand was resting on that leg. His  face was so constipated. 

  HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA ITS SUCH A JOKE. A jock with that expression!

  I whipped out my phone and took a picture.

  'What the hell are you doing!'

  'What is wrong with you ****! You're a ****ing bastard!'

  Ooh such foul language. Ouch. I felt a stinging sensation on my forehead.

  'Hey stop it! Both of you!' I heard that familiar sound. Immediately, I knew that my savior had come.

  'What do you want,' Daniel turned to the jock and asked.

  'He's dating Skye. Skye! Do you understand?'

  'He's not, cut it out-'

  Where did he get that from. Why am I sucked into this drama all of a sudden.

  The class rose and began shooting their fingers at me. Some were laughing, some were as triggered as the jock (they're probably jocks too). Others just rushed out of the classroom because the atmosphere was counterproductive to their homework. 

  My dead eyes faced his piercing glare. He was trying to fire a laser at me. That would've worked on anyone but me. You can't kill what's already dead, loser.

  'I swear, I'm not interested in anyone but myself.'

  The class burst out laughing, even the jock was giggling.

  The sky was clear, it seemed to approve of my tactic.

  'Yeah, who would like you? Even if you liked them, no one will ever love you.'

  Yeah, that's right. 

  Somehow my head gradually sank and it hit my desk. It stayed there for the rest of the day, all the other lessons. Something in me had snapped.

  No one will ever love you. That's what they told me 6 years ago. That hasn't changed at all. That's true, love is infinite, but not everyone has equal access to it.

  No one will ever love me.

  Do I care? Of course not. I'm not weak, I am a superpower that does not need to exploit resources such as love in order to survive. I am sustainable, my emotional energy depends on myself.

  You're right, I don't.

  Who am I talking to again? The voice inside my head? Who's is that?

  The sky gradually turned red and the orange streaks began to form. The sunset melted in the sky like a soft boiled egg. The end of the day drew closer.

  Daniel and I walked down the street on the Day term one ended. We entered the nearest train station, boarded the train together. Then we got off at the same stop. Subsequently, we strolled down the empty streets, past the derelict buildings, blank faces and wary eyes. We would come to a fork, and part ways under the majestic sunset.

  No one would love me. But at least I was not alone in the universe.