My Life

My Thoughts..

So before I write about my days I thought you should get to know me!

I am currently in year 8 of high school and I am British!

My mum and dad divorced when I was 5 years old and my dad moved 2 hours away from me. So I never really remember what it is like to live with my mum and  dad as a proper family. When he left i thought that he would come back. But he never did. He gave me anxiety when he left because I was worried about him all the time. Now I'm older I never really see him at all because he has a new family and doesn't even text me at all and I have take it into my own hands if I want to see him. I'm used to it now and it's getting better because my mum has a boyfriend who is more like a dad to me and I see a lot but he could never replace my dad. I cry a lot about him not caring and not being able to see me because he doesn't want to.

I have a phobia of clowns and people dressed up and wearing masks who are actually interacting it's you.

My favourite lesson is English because I love to read and learn more about the stuff I am reading. We are currently reading woman in black in class and I love to annotate the book.

My two best friends are the only people who know everything about me and don't judge me and I can be myself around and I'm always with them.

I listen to bands like Twenty one pilots, Panic! At the disco, mcr, tfb, the love, simon soundtrack (obviously lmao), Tate Mcrea, Troye Sivan etc.

I love to watch Stranger things, Riverdale, Ru pauls drag race and my favourite movie is Love, Simon!!

Me myself, am a female and I feel like i am not old enough to know who i like yet. I have dated girls and boys in the past but i don't think gender is what defines you, so if  i fall in love with you, it doesn't matter what gender you are.

I used to go to the counsellor at school for my Anxiety but she started to not help at all and actually encouraged self harm when i said i wanted to kill myself. My mum took me to the doctors (after my fucking counsellor told her EVERYTHING) and the doctors said i had to be in this metal health for children thingy where you go once a week. I went and now i have to wait 3 months until i can be in it. The doctors diagnosed me with depression and Anxiety.

I wanted to write this, not to be an attention seeker or anything stupid like that but so people could tell me if they feel a similar way.

~smolbluebean xo