The Lycan Within

c. two

           

When I woke up, I stared up into the night sky and took a moment to breath. I didn't think about how I'd gotten there. I just relished in the night sky and the peace it brought. I saw the deep purples and pinks, myriads of warm sunset colours clouding my vision and the tall trees looming over me, making me feel protected as if within the embrace of their branches. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in, and it was then everything came flooding back and the panic settled in. My head ached as I remembered everything and the stench of death filled my nostrils. I opened my eyes and not even the beautiful scene above me could calm my thoughts. I slowly sat up, with every degree that I rose I hoped, even prayed to whoever was listening that everything was a dream. And then I saw her, mouth wide open with her once honey brown eyes staring up into the sky lifelessly. Her mouth was slightly ajar and her head was only connected to her body by a sliver. I was horrified at what I had done. Memories of me tearing into her throat had me hunched over, forcing everything in my stomach upwards. I didn't want to believe I had did this. I held onto my stomach, heaving, stealing side glances at a corpse. I don't know how long I sat there, staring into the ground simply breathing.

By the time I stood up, there was no more purple in the sky, only darkness. I shouldn't have been able to see, I had horrible vision and was practically hopeless without my glasses. Yet here I was, looking around in the forest at night as if it were broad daylight. I finally drew courage from within me to take a good look at the carnage I had done. My eyes raked her body, seeing her twisted, bloody foot. Her hands rested peacefully on her stomach and a bitter laugh escaped my mouth. I leaned in to touch her, almost as if still in disbelief and an inexplicable cold met my fingers. Something within my churned as I clasped my hand around her wrist, a single tear falling from my eyes. It shouldn't have fallen after all the pain and suffering she had put me through. Even now, I had power, an inexplicable power, I was still weak. I couldn't bring myself to look at her throat. And so like the coward I was, I didn't. I sat there with her dead body for far longer than any normal person would, thoughts of being dissected, the holy grail of a mad scientist. How would I explain this, what would I do. And as the wind whistled, I felt a cold sinister presence watching me. I listened into the night and not far away, I heard an even steady heartbeat. As quick as it came it was gone and I took a glance at the body once more and ran through the forest in fear.

Almost instantaneously as I set my foot down to run, I found myself back in my back garden and I walked in through the door, looking at all the destruction we'd left behind so long ago. Still in deep disbelief I picked up a knife, my finger grazing the blade and I hissed in pain. I dropped in instinctively and kicked it aside. I couldn't bring myself to touch a thing and so instead I walked through the house, finding my way into the bathroom, turning the shower on as I allowed the steam to fill the room. I stared into the mirror and studied my reflection. I gasped at my dishevelled appearance. My hair was a mess of leaves and all sorts of forest bramble all marred together with dried blood. Bruises and scars marred all my visible skin and the fingernails of my right hand was red with blood. I had never been a beautiful girl and seeing myself like this twisted something deep within my heart. But now was not the time. I stripped, turned to the shower and let both the hot stream of water and tears wash away my heinous crime and all evidence of the beast that had been awakened today.

I finished after a while, my brown skin showing red undertones as I'd rubbed myself raw to rid the memory, the feel of a cold body beneath my fingers from me. I slipped into a cool night dress, tying my unruly curls into a knot atop my head. I slipped into my bed, staring up at the half moon taunting me. I turned over hoping to find sleep, but sleep evaded me well that night and only came after many struggles.

Morning came and my plan had become clear to me. I would call the police. Esmerelda had left for a run to clear her head, as she knew nothing of the bruises on my body. It pained her so badly she needed some kind of release. I bitterly laughed at the thought of me causing her pain. I'd done so much more than that. I'd caused her to lose her life. And then, she simply never came back. I mulled over my plan repeatedly, looking for holes like a hungry predator looking for prey. When I was satisfied and ready for school, I sat in my bed, holding the small phone between shaking fingers. I inhaled deeply, closing my eyes, pressing the familiar keys on the phone. I pressed it to my ear, listening to the daunting beeps until a calm voice answered.