For once in my life I felt what it's like to lose someone.
I got upset and because I can't control my emotions, I ended up hurting them more
They are struggling to be happy
And I'm seeing them everyday and dying a little inside knowing I'll never be allowed back
I didn't mean to
It was a mistake
I was hurt
I felt like crying when I found out you didn't trust me
I feel like crying every day when I pass by you
I miss having you around
We laughed like crazy every day during lunch
We sat with each other in the mornings because no one was there so early
I messed up and I realized that
I've tried to fix it and say sorry
It's not working and I don't know what to do
I can't just stay away completely
We were such good friends
But now?
I guess we aren't
I'm losing my mind.
People are dying, animals are sick, I'm losing most of the people I care about, I'm hurt emotionally and physically everyday
I don't know what to do anymore
It's eating my sanity away
I barely had any to begin with
The only reason I haven't broken down is my boyfriend, the little amount of friends I have, and one guy who I've known for a while and can always make me feel happy
I need help
This is too much
I don't like it anymore
I vowed to make it all go away
But that's gone
It all came back
Please
Forgive me
I was wrong
I need you back in my life
I don't laugh as often as I did around you
I'm sorry
