Ashton and I walked around the small town looking around but there wasn't much to do. I was thankful Ashton had decided to come or this would be so much more boring than it already was.
"So how come you weren't allowed to leave unless I went with you?" Ashton asked looking over at me as I sat on the hill overlooking the train tracks.
"Want honesty?" I asked looking back over at him grabbing the pack of cigarettes out of my pocket.
"Yeah." Ashton replied sitting beside me.
"Well I'm here because this is my only other option unless I go to prison. Mom's giving me a chance to straighten up and I'm supposed to follow my grandparents rules." I replied pulling out a lighter.
"Oh." Ashton said pulling his knees up to his chest.
"Yeah." I replied pulling out a cigarette preparing to light it.
"Do you have to do that?" He asked looking back over at me.
"Do what?" I asked confused.
"Smoke. It's not healthy." Ashton replied looking to my packet of cigarettes.
" oh well um. I guess I don't have to." I replied as I began putting everything back where it belonged.
"Thanks." Ashton smiled. I loved the way he smiled it was just so cute and he looked adorable and I just wanted to. STOP IT LUKE.
"What do you keep thinking about?" Ashton asked tilting his head to the side looking at me.
"what do you mean?" I asked a little confused.
"You keep dazing out and it seems each time you do your staring at me and I want to know what you're thinking." He replied sitting up a little more.
"It's nothing." I replied chuckling just a little.
"I don't believe you." Ashton replied sitting up more and getting closer not being so shy anymore.
"Well you should." I replied shaking my head.
"Tell me the truth." Ashton replied. "Please."
"I can't." I replied a little shyly.
"Why not?" He asked sounding a little annoyed.
"Because why would I tell you anything? I don't even know you. You're a spoiled preachers son." I spat out standing up. I felt bad for going off on the kid but I couldn't tell him the truth.
I hated the idea of hurting him, but I couldn't tell him the truth. I hadn't felt anything like this for someone in a long time and had me spooked. Besides I'm bad for the kid he doesn't need me in his life.
"Fine then don't tell Me. I don't care your just trouble that's all you are I'm better off staying away from you." Ashton yelled before storming off.
My chest ached a little, I wanted to go after him, but he was right I'm to much trouble. All I would do is mess him up. He has a good future planned out for him.
I walked off heading towards my grandparents house I knew I'd most likely get in trouble when I got home. I skipped dinner and took Ashton with me. And if they weren't home when I got back when they got back I would get in trouble then. Ashton would have come home alone and upset.
My heart hurt thinking about Ashton and how I went off on him. It was just all to much, I hadn't had feelings for anyone else but Jackson and I guess I never recovered from that.
I guess I was scared. Scared of getting hurt again. Either way I'd get hurt wether it was because Ashton turned me down or because I had to leave at the end of the summer.
I laid on my bed when I got home, since the house was empty I laid there listening to music and began falling asleep.
I was woke up by the sound of a car backfiring which pulled me out of a dream I was having. The sun was shining brightly through my window.
"Good morning sleepy head." My grandmother said carrying in something to eat. "You were sound asleep when we had breakfast, so I saved some for you."
"Thank you." I gave her a small smile and took the plate from her.
"Are you ok dear? You don't look so good." She asked resting her hand on my forehead.
I couldn't help but lean into her hand when she touched my forehead.
"Yeah I'm ok I just had a bad dream." I replied as she ran her hand down over my cheek.
"Luke?" She asked slowly pulling her hand away.
"Yes ma'am?" I asked looking up at her.
"Whatever it is you should talk about it." She said softly just barely above a whisper.
My body went tense with her words. No one had ever thought maybe something was wrong before everyone just accused me of being horrible.
"what makes you think there's anything?" I practically spat back.
She just sighed and shook her head before she began to walk back out of the room.
"Keeping it all inside isn't going to help Luke. Just talk. This coping mechanism you've come up with isn't good." She spoke as she walked out of my room closing the door behind her.
I got up from my bed and walked over grabbing a long sleeve sweater out of my bag and slipped it on over my head and I snuggled into it and laid back on my bed.
As I laid in bed in Jackson's sweater I couldn't help but turn on the playlist I never listen to anymore.
'I don't want to set the world on fire, honey
I love you too much
I just want to start a great big flame down in your heart
You see, way down deep inside of me, darling
I have only one desire
And that one desire is you
And I know, baby, ain't nobody else gonna do'
I closed my eyes and just listened to the song that was playing through my phone. Memories began to flood through my mind as the song played.
The memories at the drive in and at the ice cream shop by the park. All memories that were once good, but had now turned sad.
"Luke." My grandmother hollered up. "There's someone here to see you."
Quickly I shot up out of my bed and wiped the tears from my eyes on the sleeves of my sweater before I took it off and put it away again and put my black v-neck tshirt back on. I quickly turned the music off and sat back in my bed scrolling through my phone. Trying to make sure it looked like nothing else had been going on.
"It's a little late to be in your sweatpants and in bed isn't it?" The voice I never expected to hear say.
"Ashton? What are you doing here?" I asked looking up shocked to see him here. Especially after how I treated him yesterday.
"So I got to thinking about yesterday and I pushed you. Whatever it is you keep thinking about your not ready to talk about. So I'll stop asking and I'll be here when ever you are." He replied sitting on my bed.
"There's nothing." I replied.
"Yeah keep telling yourself that." He replied.
