"I'll never love again I'm so in love with you I'll never thrill again To somebody new Within my heart I know I will never start To smile again Until I smile at you"
I did my best to ignore the song playing through the speakers. I hadn't listened to this one in a very long time. It was one that I would curl up in Jackson's sweater and just lay in my bed listening to on a sad rainy day.
"You can stop here." Ashton said thankfully pulling out of my thoughts.
I smiled and pulled off along side the road and turned the truck off before following Ashton up a little hill.
"Where are we going?" I asked as I followed behind him.
"The best place to watch the trains." He replied.
"Ok." That didn't really answer my question, but really what else was there to do besides follow this cute boy to somewhere I didn't know? Nothing. There was nothing better to do.
"Here we are." Ashton said as we came up to an old box car sitting on some old tracks. "What better place to watch the trains then in one? Well a part of one anyway." He laughed lightly.
"Sounds like a good idea to me." I smiled and walked over siting beside of him just breathing in the evening air.
"I heard a bunch of girls talking about you today." Ashton said trying to break the silence.
"Oh really like what?" I laughed.
"They were saying you were hot and stuff like that." He replied. "So I guess you could have anyone in town you wanted."
"Eh I'd rather not." I replied.
"Oh." Ashton replied sounding a little surprised. "Have someone back home?"
"Nope." I replied watching the sun start to set. "Plus I couldn't have anyone at least not the one I want."
"Who's the one you want?" Ashton asked tilting his head just a little to the side. As he did the sunlight caught perfectly in his eyes causing them to sparkle.
"You. Don't want to know." I replied tuning back to look at the sun.
"Yes I do." Ashton replied whining. "If your worried I'm gonna tell I won't. I can keep a secret."
"Ashton please don't." I sighed looking back over at him.
"I won't tell and I'm not going to judge you over which girl you like." He replied laughing a little.
"What if I wasn't into girls." I accidentally blurred out.
Ashton just kind of went quiet and I couldn't help but curse myself for even bringing it up. I was about ready to say something else when Ashton's phone rang.
"I have to get that." Ashton said before standing up walking over to the edge of the train piece before answering it.
"yeah ok." I said quietly. I laid back in the train wanting to cry. I wasn't going to tell Ashton at least not yet, but now he knows and he's probably going to leave.
I sat there laying on my back staring up at the ceiling as thoughts began to run through my mind.
' "Please! Please! Help Me!" I screamed as tears began to fall harder and faster. "Don't Leave Me!" I screamed again. "YOU PROMISED!" '
I tried my best to shake the thoughts out of my head as tears began to form at the corner of my eyes. Stop Luke stop thinking. Quickly I got up from my spot and put my jacket back on and grabbed my phone.
"Hey where are you going?" Ashton asked.
"I-I have I go." I said tears forming before I quickly took off to the truck.
"Wait Luke!" Ashton yelled before he came running after me.
"Just leave me alone." I replied running my sleeve over my eyes to stop the tears from falling.
"No I won't." Ashton grabbed my arm. "Something's bothering you please just talk to me."
"No your just gonna leave." I basically yelled tears falling more.
"I'm not going anywhere. So your into guys ok cool. My parents may not be happy about that but that doesn't change anything with me." He replied keeping his hand on my arm. "so please talk to me."
"I can't." I said quietly as tears still fell but not as fast this time.
"How come?" He asked pulling me back to the train piece we had been sitting in.
"I don't like to talk about it." I replied letting him pull me. For some reason I wanted to go with him. Even though I knew it would end badly I wanted to stay because maybe for a little bit the pain would go away.
"Maybe if you talk about it. It won't be so bad anymore?" Ashton replied sitting in the train piece.
"If I tell you and this is an if you can't tell anyone and you have to keep things like it was before ok?" I sat in front of him and pulled my knees up to my chest.
"Ok deal." Ashton smiled and pulled his knees up to his chest while resting his head there looking at me.
"Oh and Luke whatever it is I'm not gonna think of you any differently."
" I wouldn't be so sure of that." I replied lightly picking at my shirt.
"I am because what happened in the past isn't who you are now and I think your pretty cool."
