You're my what?! A Gerard Way Fanfiction

☆A Change In Plans? Please?☆

Gerard

Way to go Way, you've fucked everything up nicely…again I thought to myself.

"Frank, go after her and make sure she doesn't do anything stupid." I mumbled.

"Why me?"

"Because, she likes you, and she won't want to talk to me right now." I spat at him. My rage was starting to boil over. I walked over to the wall in front of me, and bashed my head against it. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." I kept whispering as a bashed my head.

"Stop it, Gee. That's not helping anything." Ray said, putting his hand on my shoulder and pulling me gently away from the wall.

"Maybe if I lose enough brain cells-"

"Don't do this to yourself!" Bob almost yelled.

"You brought this all on yourself, Gerard, and you know it! We shouldn't've come here!" Mikey screamed at me.

"Mikey, I don't need shit from you right now! Why are you so fucking against this? What have you got against Jadis?!" I screamed back.

"I'm against it, because you're a fucktard! You shouldn't have come here! It was selfish of you, Gerard! Now all you've done is made her life even harder!"

"Fuck off, Mikey." Mikey opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off, "I said FUCK OFF!" This time I lunged toward him. My anger, guilt and pure rage spilt over. I was restrained by Ray and Bob's hands.

"Calm down, Gee!" Ray's voice sounded worried.

"Chillax, mate." Bob sounded the same. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down a bit. Rage and anger subsided slightly, and I realized what I was doing. Mikey stood in front of me; his expression was shocked and scared. I had been about to hurt my brother! I slid to the ground and leant back against the wall.

"Fuck! I'm sorry, Mikey. I don't know what came over me. I guess I'm just really stressed out at the moment." I whispered. I felt like such an asshole.

"I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have provoked you like that." Mikey said quietly. He walked over and slid down beside me.

"What am I going to do?" I groaned. I closed my eyes. I wanted to escape, escape with Jadis. Somewhere where we'd be safe and happy; but that was, and would only ever be, a fantasy.

"Maybe you should go talk to her. Frank can only be comforting for so long." Mikey suggested.

"She hates me. I'm not a dad; I'm too stupid to be a decent dad. I fuck everything up!"

"What's wrong with you?" Bob asked. I opened my eyes and looked at him. What's he on about? Reading my expression, he continued, "What happened to the lead singer of our band? The guy who was inspired by the September 11 bombings? The guy who wanted to change the world? The guy who sings about real issues in the world? 'Coz I can't see him right now."

"He's still somewhere in the asshole in front of you." I smiled.

"Then bring him out again, Gee. You're not an asshole you are Gerard Way; a legend and an idol to people all over the world!" Bob said inspirationally.

"I can't. He belongs to Jadis." I chuckled to myself sadly.

"Why?" Jadis' beautiful, Australian-accented voice asked. I looked to the doorway. Jadis stood there, her face tear stained, her clothes sand covered.

"Because, you deserve him, not me." I watched her as she slowly walked over to me.

"I don't deserve anything. I was being a spoilt brat. I expect too much." She said squatting down in front of me. Frank appeared in the doorway, where she'd just been. I reached out and caressed away her tears, with the back of my hand.

"I don't want to leave you, Jadis. I'd take you with me if I could, but your mum would have me arrested."

"Then lock me up and throw away the key!" Her jaw was set determinedly, her eyes were stern. Her defiance made me laugh.

"If only it was that simple. What about your mum? What about Mumble?"

"Mumble's chemically unstable and mum is romantically starved. I think me being away might be good for them."

"Chemicals and romance, that's going to get annoying," Ray laughed.

"Sorry," I said, embarrassed, "I've being saying that for ages."

"Jay, I'd never forgive myself if you ended up like Lindsey Lohan or something." Gerard said firmly.

"I'm not stupid, and I'll have guidance. Please?" She begged.

"Only if your mum gives it the ok." I told her, knowing very well that she wouldn't. I would've given anything to stay with her, but I knew that I was just being selfish again. I was not going to drag her into this world.

"Fine with me." Jadis said confidently, surprising me, "I have vays und means of getting my vay, Vay!" She said in a bad German accent. We all laughed.

"Let's go then, who knows when that stupid helicopter will be back." Mikey declared. I'd almost forgotten he was there, he'd been so quiet.

"Ok then: Mikey make sure no-ones headed this way, Ray and Bob, you two get our stuff together and load the van, and Frank, lock-up," I said looking at each of them in turn. Slowly I got to my feet, then helped Jadis and Mikey up. "I'll help Jadis pack-up. We'll meet in the van in about ten minutes. We have to be quick." Everyone nodded, and then disappeared to do their jobs.

Jadis followed me into the room, where we had slept last night. I glimpsed at the clock on the wall, and saw that it was nearly 8am. No wonder I felt drowsy. I went over to my bunk, sat down, and then dangled my head between my knees, so I could see underneath it. I pulled out her bag, and my own. She took it from me and checked everything was there. While she was doing that, I went to the bathroom to get my stuff from the vanity.

When I walked in, Ray was there. He was packing up his toiletries. He looked up as I walked over to the vanity next to him. I stared at my reflection in the mirror; I looked horrible. Paler than normal – almost white – and I had eyeliner smudged all over my face. My eyes were bloodshot, and my hair was tousled. I started shaking my head. What on earth am I thinking? I thought. What if Gabby lets her go? What'll happen? Ah, fuck! I shouldn't be doing this!

"Don't do this to yourself, Gee." Ray said, surfacing me from my thoughts.

"Do what?"

"Don't beat yourself up. She wants to come with us. You're not forcing her to do anything. We all hate seeing you like this."

"Like what?"

"Like, guilty and worried all the time. You used to be carefree and innocent, but you decide to meet your daughter, and you change! What's going to happen to the band? We're nothing without that old Gerard."

"I'm sorry. I just don't want her to become a drug-addicted, alcoholic whore." I put my hands on the edge of the vanity, and let my head droop. "I don't want her to make my mistakes."

"Give her a chance, mate. She doesn't seem like one of those ditsy fuckwits. I don't think she'll do anything stupid. Especially if you're there for her."

"We better finish packing." I said straightening up. I opened a draw and emptied the contents into my bag.