Therapist

Chapter 20 〰 Endangered Zone

Lia's POV

The sun rays shining against my closed eyes made me shift from the deep slumber I was in, awakening me on the very familiar, extremely comfortable bed.

I glanced to my left to find Alexander m, holding his glasses, sat up straight with with his torso on show.

My dilated eyes relaxed when I realized It was just him, calming when I remembered what happened yesterday.

I would never want to take the advantage of his emotional vulnerability. I'm not heartless.

"Alex?"

His gaze shifted to me, revealing his bloodshot, dead eyes; a stare I knew too well to the point where it felt wrong to look into his orbs right now. I knew too well I'd see more than I'm supposed to, know a lot more about him across his boundaries.

His sigh broke the ice between us, making me shake lightly. "Alex, I-"

"This can't go on this way, Lia," his eyes glistened as my heart slowly shattered, knowing exactly where this was going. "It's too much for me to take."

I shook my head in disbelief as my eyes locked with his, seeing his emotions completely contrasting his words. "Please don't -"

"No," he shook his head, his sad eyes tearing slowly. "I know what's wrong and what's right...and this is completely wrong and is slowly getting out of hands."

"Alex, please," I pleaded, shaking my head...I couldn't believe my ears anymore, all I was capable of living was my eyes as they slowly undressed his orbs. "I know you don't mean what you're saying."

"You and I are nothing but a patient and a doctor."

"I'm aching for your help but I can't reach out for it."

"Whatever happened yesterday..whatever happened personally between us outside my clinic...forget it all. Everything."

"Every little moment we spent together will always hold a special place inside my heart no matter what."

I gasped for air at what his lips were denying and what his eyes were confessing...and without a word left his penthouse. I left his tearing, naked eyes. I left his lying lips.

I left sad and mad at myself for getting him to the point where his self esteem over powered his heart.

But after everything his lips said...after I saw the real words in his eyes, I couldn't be mad at him. I couldn't stay sad at him, because I never had the right to.

Everything running safe in my life was suddenly crashing down to a deadly accident.

I sobbed before hearing a loud horn as a car halted by me.

"Lia..."

His call alone made me sob louder in realization to what I'm causing. I just cheated. I kissed a man and I loved it more than I was supposed to.

"Baby, what's wrong? What are you doing here? Aren't you heading to school?"

He dragged me to his car, taking me in his embrace which made feel even more filthy.

"Jackson.."

"Tell me what happened."

I nodded slowly, drying my tears before looking back at him.

How could I simply hurt him that way? How could I be so drunk and so stupid to kiss my own doctor just because his eyes pleaded for a way to be repaired by me?

I could've simply hugged him... I could've avoided every conflict taking place.

"I was at a sleepover with my friend...and she called things off with me."

I was wheezing by now, sobbing and coughing as my lips lied to him.

"It's okay, it's alright," he tried to calm me before I shook my head, feeling even worse. "Everything will be alright."

I shook my shoulders, slowly calming down. I had to stay sane, I can't let the feeling of my heart collapsing in complete regression take over me. Anything related to what my body currently feels like should be placed at the back of my head, and not floating on the vulnerable surface of my body.

I can't think about Alexander the same way ever again.

I don't have peace within myself anymore...I'm shattered. I feel absolutely empty.

He's always been, and always will be my safe place.

Nothing will ever be the same without him by my side, nothing will ever be at peace...not even with Jackson.