My Professor's Secret

12|

twelve
306 days before wedding

With November and all the major holidays approaching, Chris and I were desperate in the search of finding a way home to celebrate with our dad. The words remained unspoken amongst the three of us, but truthfully, we couldn't deny how crucial being together during this time was.

We were all suppressing our emotions for the sake of each other's wellbeing while juggling the reality that our mother wouldn't be there to celebrate with us.

During our usual phone conversations, Dad attempted to mask how difficult the loss weighed on him in order to consolidate me. I don't even think he realized just how much his own emotional neglect was affecting him, but whenever I confronted him about it, he insisted it was under control.

I on the other hand dove into a journal and picked up every available extra shift at work to avoid another downward spiral pertaining to the five stages of grief.

Most days were easy to maneuver; work, school, eat, repeat. Allowing myself even a slither of alone time was difficult because I knew just how easy it was to slip into the place I had to claw my way out of after losing my mom. That place nearly broke me.

On Saturday morning, I found myself hovering over the stove at Hinkhouse in place of Josh while he handled an issue concerning his apartment. His details were minuscule and I didn't want to pry, so I agreed to pick up his shift, plus Professor Thornton was there. Besides seeing him during the two classes he taught, our work schedules virtually never crossed each other.

When Professor came in this morning, he looked as if the world was working against him. His hair was sprawled in every direction and there was damp red stain ruining our usual crisp white uniformed apron. He hauled ass directly to the employees lounge until emerging with a fresh apron and looking like his usual kept self. That's when he noticed me in the place he'd normally see Josh, but he kept quiet and headed towards his work station.

"Rough morning?"

Professor T pivots towards me on the soles of his feet, his eyes more sluggish than I was used to. "Huh?" he pauses, nodding and piercing his lips to speak before I could interject. "Oh, yeah. My daughter had a full blown meltdown this morning. Clearly I was the target of her aggression," he ends with a humorless laugh. "No Josh?"

He may have thought I was oblivious to him wanting to avoid any type of conversation with me. Even in class the only time we spoke to each other was when he was explaining something to me during the lesson.

Maybe it was only me replaying that moment in his office.

"He'll be in later. I'm only covering for him until he gets back."

He barely even looked at me after that. Not that I intended much from him, but was it so absurd to want some kind of acknowledgment? Professor Thornton and I kept our distance and continued working in silence until Josh made it during lunch to take his shift back.

"Well, is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine," he huffs unconvincingly, shoving his things into a cubby. "For now," Josh ends, leaving me alone in the lounge once again. He'd come around.

I finished the rest of my lunch while scrolling mindlessly through social media waiting to be excused from work. A text message from an unknown number quickly pulled me from my mindlessness.

Hey, it's Wyatt. I know we left off on a rocky foot but I can't stop thinking about you. Are you available tonight? We don't have to call it a date, but I'd really like to see you.