My Professor's Secret

26|

twenty six

"Do you see yourself with her?" I ask as we move through the supermarket aisles.

Dad glances at me with a steady smile, grabbing a box of rotini noodles and tossing it into the cart like it's just another item on the list.

"Of course," he says. "Why date someone you don't plan on having a future with? Life's too short—and I'm too old—to date just for the hell of it." He pauses, continuing down the aisle. "I always pictured your mother being it for me."

That alone is enough to make my chest tighten.

"Do I think I'll love Lorelei the way I loved your mother? No," he continues. "And I say that with the utmost respect for her. Your mother and I... we had a love for the ages. I never imagined giving myself to another woman the way I gave myself to her."

There's no hesitation in his voice. No confusion.

"Lorelei and I both understand that," he adds. "You know she lost her husband years ago? Drunk driver. We understand each other in that way. What losing someone like that does to you. It doesn't just go away."

His lips part slightly, like there's more he wants to say, but he stops himself and keeps walking.

The ride back home is quiet. I spend most of it replaying everything I've said to him over the past few months, every dismissive comment, every sharp reaction to something he didn't deserve.

Maybe I judged Lorelei too quickly. Too harshly. Maybe if I hadn't been so stuck in my own head about it, things wouldn't have felt so strained between us.

We could've used that time differently. I could've tried to understand instead of pushing back. She deserved more than what I gave her. And if I were being honest, so did he.

At home, Dad encouraged Chris and me to start dinner early. Making dinner with my brother turned into him going on about why he had dropped the feud against Dad's relationship. Most of it sounded like he was trying to justify something I hadn't even asked him to explain.

I let him talk anyway because it kept the attention off of me and whatever else he could somehow find out about Trevor and me... like those drunken two a.m. calls or the fact that he had somehow heard the phone conversation I had with Trevor last night when I snuck off to the garage, even though I was sure there were no listening ears nearby.

It didn't take long to notice that his mind wasn't fully in it. Instead of actually helping, he hovered near the counter, watching me do most of the work. I ignored it at first, focusing on finishing up so we could call Dad and Lorelei in, but the second I moved to grab the last few things, he finally said something that made me stop.

"You know how I said rumors were going around about you and Professor Thornton?"

There was something in his tone that didn't sit right.

I turned slightly, keeping my expression neutral. "Yeah?"

He leaned against the counter, watching me closely as if he needed to examine my reaction. "Turns out Meghan heard about it. She went to your dorm to confront you."

My hand stilled for half a second before I forced myself to keep moving, grabbing a utensil I didn't actually need just to have something to do. "She what?"