Skipping Stones - COMPLETE

Chapter 16

"I BELIEVE IT is," Memaw continues. "Surely there's an explanation."

"He didn't say a word about this to me this morning. I don't understand." I rattle that out at a super-fast speed. The same speed I feel my heart pulsating inside of me. When was he going to tell me this? How could he tell me that he loved me this morning when he knew this?

As soon as Papa stops the van, I swing the door open and make my way through the yard. He yells something about springing the hinges. Not caring at this point about some stupid van, just wanting to know what the heck is going on, my mind races out of control with each step taking me closer to his house. Then it becomes more and more obvious.

No. I shake my head as my pace increases. There's nothing on the front porch. Looking through the windows, it's clear that every room is empty. There's no trace of Drew Foster to be seen. Like he never existed in the first place. Have I lost my mind? Was he just a dream this entire time? No. He was real. He had to have been real. My knees weaken, and I catch myself in time to make it to the steps. Burying my head in my hands, my body shakes and shudders.

My mind starts playing rewind to all of the things he told me. He made promises, and he doesn't break them. He told me he wouldn't leave me. He promised to help me. We had plans for this week. How could he do this to me? How could he leave me right now?

My brain can't fathom the loss it's experienced. I want to take the seam ripper that keeps ripping threads from my heart and just stab myself. I don't want to be here anymore. I can't do this without him, without them, without my friends, without my house. How do I do this? How do I survive?

When I told him bye earlier, it was temporary. This isn't temporary. This has no closure. He might as well be dead to me. I know I'm hyperventilating. I gasp for air in between sobs, and I feel my head getting fuzzy. Soon, I feel a hand on my shoulder. Please let it be him. Please let this be just a dream.

I glance up, and it's not him. It's Papa. He sits beside me, and pulls me into his chest. "Breathe with me, Alex," he instructs me. "In." I breathe in and then he reminds me to exhale. "Out." He waits a second, "In."

"I can't. I can't do this. I can't breathe. I can't do this," I sob.

"Yes you can. Switch your breathing. Less in and more out."

I nod. It wasn't the breathing I was talking about.

He rubs my back. In time it helps me slow my breathing. "I don't understand," I manage past my wails.

"I don't know either, Alex."

Using the backs of my hands to wipe away the tears, I try to make sense out of this. "I mean how could he have been here this morning, and gone in a matter of a day?"

"We just packed your entire house. It's possible." He kisses my temple. "I'm not sure why he left. Maybe he'll call or write you."

I shake my head as the anger sets in. "If he had any intention of communicating with me, he would have said so before I left today." I stand up, completely furious, realizing what just happened. "He played me, and I let him." Papa starts to talk, but I continue, pacing back and forth in front of Drew's now vacant home. "I made it so easy for him. I was easy. And Daddy taught me to never be dependent on a man...on a boy." I throw my hands up. "And I did just that. I was completely dependent on him."

Papa grunts as he tries to get up from the step. I feel bad and offer to help, but he waves me off. "I agree you were too dependent on him."

My eyes widen. Even though I know it's true, it's hard to hear, and from Papa, who usually sides with me on everything. "But –"