Divine Cunt

Chapter 7: The Critic and the Outhouse

Untying Fanny for a toilet break, Drake, Cherry and Rocky dragged her weak body to the outhouse and made her confess to her crime. Some of the members of the group stood outside the door as they heard muffles and screams. From outside the door Glenn and Angel were nudging Brian to take the gun he was hiding in his pants, goading him to shoot Drake. Without warning a pair of skinny legs flung up in the air as poor Fanny was being pushed head first into the large pit toilet. Peering through the corner of the door Glenn witnessed Fanny trying to push herself away from the seat of the toilet and clutching onto the toilet, but to not avail. The toilet holder got smashed in the process. Eventually Fanny was threaded through the pit toilet seat like a needle and thread. Covered in shit Fanny sat screaming trying to push her way back out, but Drake and Rocky were firmly seated on the toilet seat cover preventing any access to the outside world for her. Poor Fanny must have felt boxed in as other members made a lock for the seat so she could not escape her confines. Drake taunted Fanny to pick up all the pieces of his book, or he would see to it that she would have her baby in raw sewerage.

“I want you to pick all the pieces of my book out of the shit, or you ain’t coming out Fanny!” Drake yelled through the wooden floor.
Fanny could be heard yelling, “You bastard Drake! Tell Cherry I found her burnt period pad and it stinks of adultery! There’s also a burnt bra down here if you want it bastard!”

The night slowly ebbed away as Fanny’s screams and anger died off into silence. One could have only imagined her sobbing and the foul air that she was forced to inhale and exhale. During the commotion Tony vanished much like how Jesus vanished, came back to life in the transfiguration. Everyone was astonished and some were worried that ‘The Rapture’ had began.

“What if Tony is the Messiah,” Angel made an open comment to Glenn.
“Have you been drinking the communion wine again?”

Little did anyone realise that Tony had been rescued by Ray Moonshine and a private investigator called David who broke into the trailer, untied him and carried him off into the night. David was a Quaker who had been enlisted by Aston’s mother to help rescue her son from an alternative lifestyle, but found himself helping another member instead.

“I’m just so confused,” Tony said to David.
“I know...you’re out there searching for the truth of life and the truth of God. We all have to climb that mountain. Some people refuse to climb it. Some people take an escalator to the top of the mountain in arrogance that they believe fool heartedly that they are born into the right religion. Some people stop to talk to others on the mountain. Some people fall down the mountain. Some fall in love. Some people give up hope and walk back down the mountain. Tony you are so special to be in this world. If only you knew.”
“Why are you being so kind to me David,” Tony was moved by David’s words.
“2 Peter 2:9 You are the chosen one Tony. You are God’s special possession. You are God’s precious treasure. You have been called out of darkness and into the light.”
“If you like David you can have sex with me.”
“You’re using your body to express love when you should be using your heart to express love. But look while I’m here I won’t say no to head.”
“It would also please me if you could fuck me and bore a hole right through me. I’ve never been with anyone like you. I want to drink you in with every pore on my body. Are you a Prophet David?”
“No I am not. I would never suppress free thought.”

Over the week David and Ray rescued Fanny from the outhouse and caused a schism in the group which left an exodus of members moving back home or out of the country. Glenn, Angel and Tony took up a rare offer and moved to Australia where David had hoped they would all become Quakers. It wasn’t long before Tony went back to the U.S.

“You three remind me of the Boston martyrs. But one thing puzzles me Glenn. Why did you leave the cult?” David asked.
“Well Drake had told me that we were taking the trailer up to meet with another cell group who would take over leadership of us and I’m sorry I don’t take orders by colours, spicks, niggers or women. While I respect what Jim Jones is doing, I just haven’t reach that epiphany yet.”
“I’m disappointed in you Glenn,” David said.
Angel quickly snapped, “Well so am I! I really wanted to join Jim Jones and his ‘Rainbow Family’. Rumour now has it they are all going to Jonestown and now I feel like we have missed out on a chance of a lifetime again. First Charlie! Now Jim! What else will I miss out on?”
“Can you pour me a drink Angel,” Glenn asked as if upset at another missed opportunity.
“We got beer or ‘Kool-Aid cordial”
“Kool-Aid is fine. I don’t want anything heavy that’s gonna knock me out.”

Taking off his suit jacket David pulled up a chair in the trailer and began to sift everyone for as much information as possible on Drake and Cherry, as if sensing they would be around a lot longer. David was worried the group was going to implode or continue to wreck young lives.

“I’d also like to know about the incident with Cherry and the bashing on the night she exposed her two vaginas,” David asked.
Glenn replied, “Seriously it was nothing. We went to a lot of places to get the girls to perform ‘Flirty Fishing’. At one place Cherry shimmied up a stripper’s pole too high and fell, but insisted she was still fine to continue God’s work. Then at another place she had too much to drink and was playing up on the dance floor. She upset these two girls by pinching a guy they liked and performing oral sex on them in the dunnies. Then while on the dance floor Cherry jumped off the podium into the arms of 6 guys who were jointly throwing her up in the air, catching her and then whisking her back up in the air again. The only problem was the two girls came onto the dance floor and lifted up their tops and exposed their bare breasts which made the men stop and gape, to which Cherry fell smack bang on the floor. She was bruised pretty badly. We got back to the ‘Filiation Room’ and ‘Mo’ had told Cherry she was to be replaced with a teen virgin ‘Lamb of God’ and start an offshoot group out in ‘Slab City’.”
“What about the money burning?” David asked Glenn.
“We mainly only burnt small currency and it was never fully burnt. This was so we could take it back to the banks and get it changed over. We knew we were breaking the law doing it, even though ‘The Bible’ tells us to respect the law in Romans 13 otherwise we are rebelling against God, but we did it anyway. The money we gave away was only small notes, nothing big.”
“Would you say Drake did it for the publicity?”
“I know it sounds like a Hollywood cliché, but he did it for the publicity.”

Many secrets were revealed, but for the most part everybody was upset that their spirit, trust and love had been abused and trampled on. What one leader felt was right seemed autocratic and totalitarian to others and even to outsiders (James 3:1 Leaders & Teachers will be judged more harshly). This narcissistic vibe of Drake was filled with egotism, vanity, pride and selfishness. Jesus never asked for any donation. Yet Drake much like Judas was all about the money. It would have been nice if Drake had of had more faith that people would have read his book. Instead Drake wanted us to ask for donations, much like sin by proxy. The ‘Good News’ was certainly not free with Drake. There was a price for his prophecy of salvation and even though the charge was small, the fact remains love is for free. I can’t help but think now that Drake borrowed so much from Christianity, that now with all this talk about Russia blowing us up, he will for sure abandon his own country and selfishly seek refuge for himself. Traitor! Looking back now I don’t understand why I followed a man of such little faith. Maybe I was just young, impressionable and stupid, wanting a free-spirited adventure to piss my parents off. I do know that I was genuinely searching and trusted others to help share their world view so I could somehow measure and balance mine.