Voiced Thoughts [NaLu AU]

Chapter 6

~Lucy's POV~

I continued on my way, snickering at how Natsu had reacted to my threats."E224, E224, E224..." I muttered to myself as I headed towards that room. Above the door, there was a sculpted piece of light tan driftwood with the word "sculpting" engraved into it. The piece was very beautiful, the original piece of wood itself already being twisted in such a way that made it look almost like the ocean waves that had shaped it. A gift from a previous student.

I walked in, making a point of keeping my head up. There were a lot of cliques in this class because of how famous the teacher was for being laid back and how everyone who didn't care requested him. Despite knowing that, I had taken the class anyways because it sounded interesting. The problem was that the cliques in this class were the ones that really didn't like me. I had a tendency to get on people's bad sides often, especially people who thought they were better than everyone else.

On my way in I spotted Gray's dark raven colored hair from across the room, of course when I noticed that I unintentionally called out his name, but I figured I might as well go with it, so I waved too. This teacher didn't have assigned seating so I plopped down right next to him. And a thought occurred to me. "How're you and Juvia doing, Gray?" I slurred in a teasing voice, probably louder than necessary. Everyone looked over and snickered, particularly at Gray and his usually pale face that was currently flushed a bright pink. His dark navy blue eyes travelled down to the hunk of ice he had in his hand, absentmindedly chipping at it while making a point to ignore me.

I covered my mouth, "My bad." I whispered, but Gray heard.

"It's all right, Lucy," he said. "I know you can't help it."

That made me mad for some reason, how dare he tell me that I can't help it. As if I didn't know already! "Yeah, I can't help it," I spat out sarcastically. I turned away pouting, and when I realized what I said, I cringed. "Worst comeback ever," I muttered, my face scrunched up into a sour position.

Gray chuckled, "Glad I'm not the only one who thought so." Then he continued turning his ice in his hands.

I refused to let myself think about Gray and Juvia, not wanting to further impede on his privacy, instead directing my mind to how he was handling that giant hunk of ice without any sign of discomfort.

"How do you do that?" At this point words were just spewing out of my mouth. "How can that be comfortable, holding a piece of ice that big for so long." I kept rambling. "I mean, isn't your hand cold? My hand would be freezing at this point. I think by now it might have even fallen off. I don't understand how yours doesn't feel like that. I mean, it's ice, isn't it cold?" I stopped when I saw Gray's expression. "Why are you looking at me like that? I thought those were some very logical questions."

Gray's face held an amused expression. "No reason. Anyway, do you want to be partners? We have to sculpt something resembling your 'inner self,'" he rolled his eyes, temporarily putting his ice down to make air quotes.

"Sure!" Then a thought occurred to me. "But not if it's ice, ice is annoying, it's cold and just melts right after anyway. I want my inner self to be rainbow, ice is just one color." I explained looking at my hands and their gestures.

When I looked up, Gray's face had fallen and he looked slightly offended. "Sorry!" I said frantically, waving my hands in front of my face. "Ice is very... uh... colorful?" It sounded more like a question than an apology.

Gray just looked down at his ice that was, sure enough, steadily melting. "Ice is beautiful. And mysterious at the same time. You can make it into something amazing, but just as fast as it appears, it disappears and it lost to the world."

For once I was speechless

"And ice can look very colorful seeing as it sort of serves as a prism and when light passes through, it can refract all colors of the rainbow." Gray smirked.

"Gray, since when are you philosophical?"

His smirk disappeared and he turned away. He seemed a little annoyed at this point. I wouldn't blame him. I had insulted him on a personal level and mentioned his crush. Again. I must have said so because he sighed and said, "Lucy, sometimes it's just hard for me to understand." He turned to me. "I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that I know what it's like, because I really don't." His face turned sad. "I do understand what it's like to lose someone though." A tear slid down his face and I realized something really personal was coming.

I tried so hard not to interrupt, but with teeth gritted I asked, "What happened?"

He looked at me with slightly red eyes, "My mom got breast cancer when I was eight."

He took a deep shuddering breath and I waited for his next words, biting my tongue viciously.

"She didn't make it."

My eyes bulged. "What? I... I'm really sorry Gray." I cringed at that because I knew that wasn't what you wanted to hear when you lost someone you loved.

"It's..." he took a deep breath, "It's okay." And I knew this was Gray's unique way of forgiving me.

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On my way to lunch I started thinking about Gray and Juvia again. It had been so hard to suppress the thoughts in the first place, so now they were surging to the forefront of my mind. Again, of course everything I was thinking of I said out loud, but I think you probably got that at this point.

Gray had had a major crush on Juvia for the longest time, and he had been one of my first friends since coming to Fairy Tail. He had confided in me because I was one of his only female friends and he wanted a girl to give him advice. His only other female friend was Erza. That should be self-explanatory enough. All of this was before we really knew about my "condition" and what it caused. I had given him some insightful advice if I do say so myself, but then, I just couldn't control my mouth. I spilled one of his most important secrets right there at school where everyone could hear. To this day, Juvia still stalks him, the rumors making her believe she has a chance. I had apologized frantically, of course, but Gray didn't believe me.

It really wasn't until I had been diagnosed with Verbal Dysdecorum that he finally "forgave" me. I really don't think he ever did though because he still avoided me for a long time after that. Although, I think telling me another personal thing was his own way of saying that he finally forgave me. Whether it was a good idea, I have no idea, but I am going to try as hard as possible not to tell anyone.

Actually when I first came to Fairy Tail, I had had a pretty major hardcore crush on Gray. I mean, you have to admit, he is far from bad looking. And I mean far. And his weird stripping habit didn't make it any easier for me to get over him.

But then he told me about Juvia. And the way he talked about her was just so insanely excited and nervous and happy at the same time, that there was no way I could've ever brought myself to interfere. He displayed the perfect set of emotions that's supposed to be felt towards someone you love, and at such a high intensity. My simple crush died then and there without any issues. I wasn't sad to give it up and I certainly couldn't have made a better choice. In fact, this whole situation had almost turned me into a less demonic Mira. I protected the Gruvia ship in any and every way possible. If someone so much as mentioned any sort of crush on Gray or Juvia, I intervened without regrets. I will see that ship sail. If my ship can't sail...

Nobody's can.