What I Want

Chapter 3: Scars

Ben decided it was best to go see Mal now. He really wanted to be sure she was ok. He couldn't help but worry, even though he had seen her only a few hours ago. As he made his way to her dorm room, his mind involuntarily began to wander. Of course, his thoughts drifted to Mal. They always seemed to. As he thought about her, he realized that something was different about her this morning. She seemed, happier... No, it was better than that. She was brighter, but at the same time she was a bit more closed off than usual. Her being so reserved was something he was used to, but it was more intense today. Had he done something wrong last night? Had he really hurt her? He had to know.

Ben quickly made his way to Mal's room, hoping she would answer as he knocked. No answer. He knocked again. Maybe Evie would answer and she could tell him where Mal was. Still no answer. He curiously turned the door knob. It was unlocked. He decided to step in and wait for Mal to return from where ever she was. He sat on a nearby chair and waited for her.

After about 20 minutes, he felt hot air on the back of his neck. He turned around to see the bathroom door open, Mal stepping out, her eyes closed, deep in thought, a towel wrapped around her. She was completely oblivious to the fact that he was there. She turned her back to him and walked over to her dresser. She began rummaging through it, trying to find something to wear. As she searched, her towel fell from her body, giving Ben a perfect view of her butt. He couldn't help but gawk at her, but that was when he noticed several scars running down her body. He liked them though. They were a part of her. He couldn't help but admire each and every one of them, wondering where they came from.

Mal reached down for her towel and wrapped it around her head, trying to contain the dripping water falling from her hair. As she bent over, Ben instinctively let out a small growl. Mal turned to the noise. When she saw him there, gaping at her naked body, she just froze. He quickly ran his eyes up and down her body, noticing even more scars. He also noticed the other parts of her anatomy, taking the time to admire that too. The bulge in his pants was proof that he liked what he saw.

Mal suddenly shrieked in shock, reached for her towel, wrapped it around her, and ran into the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it. That was when Ben snapped out of his stupor. How could he be so stupid? Why didn't he just turn away and give her the privacy she deserved? He mentally kicked himself. He shouldn't have come in here in the first place. He ran to the bathroom door and began banging on it.

"Mal, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. I.... I.... I just wanted to see you. I thought you were out somewhere. I wanted to wait for you. This was not planned. I promise. Please forgive me. Will you please come out here so I can apologize to you in person?" Ben begged.

"Ben, I can't. I... I... just can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want you to see me like this!"

"Like what?"

"Like, with all these scars. They're hideous. Plus, I just have a horrible body in general. You don't want to see it."

"Mal, no matter what you think, you are NOT ugly. You are not hideous. You are beautiful."

"I don't believe you."

"Then come out here and let me show you."

"No. You don't want to see me."

"I saw you last night, didn't I?"

"Yeah, but you couldn't see all of me because there wasn't enough light."

"I saw enough to know."

"To know what?"

"You really want me to say it?"

"Yes."

"Mal, I'm not going to beat around the bush here. I'm going to say this straight. To me, and to put it quite frankly, you are f-cking hot."