His own way of coping

2) Making a plan

Two days passed and Ant didn't do anything but lying in bed. He just couldn't get his head around it and more than once he thought that there had to be a mistake and that he had been mistaken for somebody else. This couldn't be true, it couldn't be that it was him. He loved his life and he didn't want it to end.

Lisa tried her best to make him feel better, she brought him food up and his favourite tea, she tried to talk to him and was very caring and loving, but Ant pushed her away every time. He didn't think about her, he didn't think about how hard this might be for her as well, he just tried to digest the information he had gotten at the hospital. He was going to die and he was going to die soon.

The words of the doctor echoed in his head over and over again.

I am very sorry, Mr. McPartlin, but unfortunately there is nothing we can do to heal you, all we can do is make this as pleasant for you as we can.

Anthony knew he had to get back there to get some medication but he couldn't make himself go there, he just couldn't. He wanted everything to be normal again, he wanted to go back to the time before the headaches, before the dizziness, before the tiredness. And he knew he couldn't go back and that was what killed him inside.

He fetched out his phone and saw that he had several missed calls from Declan again, as well as a few messages. He sighed loudly. Since he had gotten the diagnosis, all he had thought about was Dec. He didn't want to leave him behind, it was his biggest fear. He was with him for nearly all his life, he couldn't imagine life without him and worse, he couldn't see Declan live on without him. But he knew he had to call him. His best friend knew that he had been to the doctors to do some testing concerning his frequent headaches.

Just when he thought about what he could possibly tell Dec, the phone rang again.

"Ant, finally" Dec sighed when he answered it with shivering fingers.

"I'm sorry, I am quite exhausted, slept a lot" Ant explained and tried to stay calm about the whole thing in front of his best friend.

"Oh" Declan exclaimed concerned. "I... err... I just wanted to know... What did the doctors say Ant?"

Ant sighed loudly. He could hear the concern in every word of his best friend's voice. "As I told you before, I have developed a severe migraine, you know?"

"Can migraines get that serious, Ant?" his best friend asked, still quite concerned. "You were pretty out of it over the last few weeks" he added and sighed.

"I know and apparently it can get that serious, Decky" Ant sighed. "They told me that I've got it bad like."

"Oh Ant, I'm so sorry" Declan said gently. "But they can make you feel better, right?"

"Yeah, think so" Ant mumbled. "I have to go back there so they can see what kind of medication they can give me, you know?"

"Okay, you do that and I see if we can get a few extra days off, alright?" Dec said gently. "Don't you worry, I'll sort this out. You get better first."

"Aye" Anthony sighed and he had to try hard to pull himself together. "Thanks, Dec."

"No problem" Dec smiled. "Just get better first, okay? So that we can carry on to have a good time, eh? Hope you'll be better by Sunday, for the game like" he added excited.

"I wouldn't miss that for the world" Ant chuckled.

"That's my man" Dec laughed.

"Aye" Ant replied and couldn't help but giggle a bit also. "Sorry, Decs, have to lie down again" he then added and sighed as the feelings overwhelmed him once more.