It was all still surreal to Anthony when he woke up the next morning, his wife in his arms and looking down on her, he saw that she slept peacefully. He had a moment of clarity when it came to his mind that he soon wouldn't be able to experience this situation anymore. But he pushed the thought away and carefully lifted Lisa off him and wandered down the stairs.
Taking his numerous pills and downing a glass of water with it, he sat down at the table and stared at the paper in front of him. He had decided to do a bucket list, what he wanted to do before his death. He breathed in sharply as a sudden pain hit his head, but fortunately it was gone as quickly as it had appeared. He so hoped that the medication would help him to lead a somewhat normal life until the end.
He concentrated on his list again and wrote a few things down.
Declan was at home and stared at his phone. He hadn't heard anything from Ant since they had talked to each other the day before and it was odd. Ant always got in touch several times a day and his behaviour now was just strange. But Dec of course also knew that his friend was miserable and he knew Ant inside out and knew how he always shut everybody else off when he wasn't feeling up to the mark.
Dec was very happy though that Ant was finally getting help. He couldn't wait for him to be back to normal soon, he missed going out with him and just having a good time with his best friend. Declan sighed loudly when he thought about Ant's condition over the last weeks. He had been having these terrible headaches and Dec had been quite concerned because his best friend hadn't been his usual self. They just finished Takeaway the week before and Dec really didn't know how Ant had managed to get through all the shows without breaking down. He had always left immediately afterwards to rest and sometimes Dec had brought him home as Ant had been barely able to walk the few steps towards his house because of his severe headaches.
They were about to start rehearsals for the BGT live shows and Dec had convinced the team that Ant needed a bit more rest so it had been postponed a bit to let him get better first.
As Dec sat there at the breakfast table all alone, nibbling on his toast, he thought of calling Ant but in the end, he decided to just pay him a visit as his house was only 3 doors down the road. He didn't care if Ant was grumpy, he just wanted to see him.
When the doorbell rang, Ant knew it only could be one person. He quickly hid the list he had just finished in his pocket and went to open the door.
"Hey" Dec said softly when Ant opened the door and smiled at him. "How are you?"
"Dec" Ant smiled warmly and immediately pulled him in for a hug. He held him for a few seconds longer and took in his scent. "I missed you" he grinned when pulling away. "Come in."
Dec grinned from ear to ear. He smiled at Ant's comment about missing him and boy, did he miss him too. Ant was his everything, he had always been.
"So, tell me" the shorter Geordie smiled as he sat himself beside Ant on the sofa. "How are you? Any better?"
"Aye" Ant smiled at his best friend. It really was good to see him and his mood was immediately improving. Dec was one of the few people who could brighten his day and so he smiled when he took a glance at him again. "Got those pills yesterday and they really help" Ant added.
"Good" Dec said and turned so he was properly facing Ant. "I was really worried about you, you know? But I'm glad you are getting better, that's ace! Told you you should go to the doctors earlier, didn't I?" he laughed and pinched Ant's side.
"I know" Ant smiled back. Little did Dec know that he was damn right. If he had gone to the doctor earlier, maybe it all would have turned out differently. Ant felt his chest tighten at that thought, maybe there would have been a chance and maybe they could have done something about it. His thoughts were however interrupted by his best friend.
"Say: Declan is always right" Dec giggled.
"What? No" the taller Geordie laughed back.
"Just say it" the shorter one teased him and grinned cheekily.
'God, that smile' Ant thought and sighed. It was just the best thing ever to see his best friend smiling. "Okay" Anthony agreed and looked Dec in the eyes. "Declan is always right" he stated and kept on looking into his best friend's pupils, he couldn't avert his gaze from Dec. That was until he heard another voice and he cringed.
"Morning" his wife said, coming down the stairs. "Oh, hi Dec" she smiled and went over to hug him. "You alright?"
"Now I am" Dec said and returned the hug. "Wanted to check on this little wreck here" he grinned. "Glad he is finally doing better and getting some help. I hope you take good care of him."
"Of course" Lisa smiled and gave Ant a concerning look.
Ant stood up and hugged her and whispered in her ear: "It's all gonna be fine."
Declan smiled at the two hugging each other. He loved them so much, he couldn't put it into words. What wouldn't he give for having someone by his side? But he pushed that thought aside quickly, he didn't want to think about that again. He was just happy that Ant was alright, he really looked a bit brighter and Dec was glad that his medication helped him.
"So you are up to the game on Sunday?" Dec asked eagerly as they all sat down at the breakfast table again and had some coffee.
"Of course" Ant smiled and winked at his best friend.
"Oh Ant, I don't know" Lisa complained. "You aren't well, I don't think you should go."
"It's still 5 days, darling" Ant smiled nervously at her. "I'll be absolutely fine until then."
"Lisa, I promise you to keep an eye on him" Dec smiled at her and grinned when he turned his head to look at his best friend again. "I'll catch you if you collapse, no problem" he laughed and showed his muscles.
"As if" Ant laughed and frowned on seeing Lisa staring at him and not laughing along. He understood her concern of course, but he just wanted to make the best of it. And for him, that meant going to see his favourite football team with his best mate.
Lisa headed to work soon and Ant tried to reassure her that everything was going to be just fine, but he didn't quite succeed. But he also knew that distraction would do her good and so he let her go to think about it again. After Dec had also left because he insisted that Ant still had to rest, the taller Geordie fetched out the list again from his pocket and took another look at it.
Going on a rollercoaster
Having a roast dinner from mum
Having a much too expensive spa day
Going on a little golf holiday with Dec
Seeing all family members again (including dad)
Having a date night with Lisa (all cheesy)
Seeing the Toon one last time
Having sex with Declan
YOU ARE READING
His own way of coping
Fanfiction"You take a deep breath now and tell me what they said" Lisa said gently and stroked Ant's hand with her thumb. Ant turned his head and looked at her, his eyes starting to fill up with tears again. He held them back as best as he could and then whis...
