His own way of coping

7) Declan II

Mature content. ;)

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"Dec, please calm down" Ant said gently and patted on the spot beside him where Dec had sat just a moment ago. "Sit down again, come on." Inside, he was so nervous that he would have liked to pace the room with Dec together, but he knew his only chance was to stay calm.

"No, I... You bloody know about me and my... err... feelings... you... you..." Declan panted and basically ran back and forth in the room. This wasn't good, he had to pull himself together, he didn't want to risk an emotional break-down in front of Ant. What the fuck was his best friend thinking? Dec's mind went crazy and by now he wasn't so sure about not being drunk, at least he felt like he had drunk a whole bottle of pure vodka all by himself. This couldn't be true, could it? His best friend had just tried to fucking kiss him.

"Let me explain, Dec" Ant said, still very calm and gentle. "But please sit down, okay?"

For a moment, Dec considered to just run out of the room, but he eventually gave in and nodded and sat beside Ant again. He was so confused, he breathed heavily.

"Take a deep breath and calm down, please" Ant said and took Dec's hand. Luckily, he let him do it and really breathed in thoroughly. "Declan, I tell you this only once, okay?"

"What?" Dec asked perplexed and raised his head to look at Ant.

"I love you, Declan" Ant said, not averting his gaze from his best friend.

"You... I... What?" Dec exclaimed confused. "But... I... You are joking, right?"

"No" Ant said firmly and started caressing Dec's cheek. He so hoped that Dec would let his guard down, that he could get through to him, he didn't know what to do otherwise. Ant could see his best friend's emotions written on his face. First, he was confused, then he was... confused. Ant sighed, but he was happy that Dec didn't refuse his touch and he had a little bit of hope. He wanted this so bad but he also understood that Dec fought against it, because he had pushed him away a thousand times before already.

"I... I..." Dec stuttered again but then he regained his composure. "I don't know what to say, I mean... All those years... Why... Why now? You... You don't mean that, do you?"

"I just..." Ant started and thought about what he could possibly say to make Dec believe him. "I was scared" he then admitted and stroked Dec's cheek with his thumb. "But being here with you, I just... I can't not do this... I just can't..." He quickly pushed his lips onto Dec's and hoped that it would work.

It did. Dec didn't kiss back at first but Ant could feel him give in about 5 seconds into the kiss and when his best friend started to move his lips slowly against his own, he smiled into the kiss.

Dec's mind went dizzy, this was all he had ever wished for and initially he had thought that it had been a long time ago that he had somewhat fancied his best friend but when Ant had come closer with his lips in his first attempt, he had completely freaked out and it had shown him that he was far from over his little crush. He felt Ant's warm and soft lips brushing over his own and his beard tingling his chin. He had tried to fight this, he really had, but this was just too good to push it away and as soon as Ant's lips had met his, he had forgotten all about his anger and confusion. He knew he shouldn't let his best friend do that, but he couldn't possibly make him stop, it was just an amazing feeling, being kissed by this gorgeous man.

The shorter Geordie gained confidence with every following move and as he gently pushed his tongue into his best friend's mouth, he felt a wave of arousal hitting his body when their tongues met. Ant suddenly moaned a bit into the kiss and gosh, that sound was the sexiest Dec had ever heard coming out of his best friend's mouth. In that moment, Dec didn't think, all he did was letting his body take in this overwhelming feeling of warmth and arousal completely.