From scratch ✔️

31. Changes

A/N Guys! Over 6k reads! Oh my, oh my, can't breathe! Thank you!!!!!!!

Life is depressing. It seems that in the months I've been here I have made a full circle from desperation to hope, from hope to fear, from fear to boredom, from boredom to excitement, then to fear again, and finally to desperation again. Nothing seemed to go my way. It was the end of August already, we were brewing potions for a week straight, but nothing was working. I felt useless. Useless and a burden. Everybody looked tired and stressed. Even Shirley and Hannah backed off with the feeding, because it didn't seem to work, nothing seemed to work. 

And Nick. Damn it. Every time I looked his way I felt real pain in my chest, not the mental one. It was real. I longed for his touch now, the small gestures weren't enough for me anymore. I needed him to hold me, to comfort me, to touch me, but I was to embarrassed to ask or to do it myself. I was utterly confused as to why he was avoiding me, or maybe it was just my imagination?...

After a few more days filled with suffering, Lena decided to step up and do something. On a sunny afternoon I suddenly found myself sitting on the couch and Lena standing in front of me like a parent giving his kid a hard time for misbehaving. 

"That is enough! I'm tired of your sulking!" She said in a stern voice and then pointed a finger my way, "you sit here and wait." And with that she marched out of the living room only to return with Nick, dragging him by the hand. Nick looked confused and I'm sure I did too. Lena pushed him to sit on the couch next to me and now we both looked like two teens in trouble instead of just one. 

"I am sick of you both! You are mates, start acting like ones!" she even stomped her leg. 

"You, Nick, are an idiot!" he growled at her, since she offended a big mighty wolf, but she was fast to continue, and her words cause Nick to pale. "Can't you see that she's not eating because you ignore her?! It's bad for her AND the baby! She needs your care now that you've found each other more than before! And you!" then she turned to me and I tried making myself disappear between the couch pillows. "You have to stop being shy! He is your mate, he also needs you, just like you do! And he probably thinks you're afraid of him, that's why he keeps as far from you as he can! Am I correct?!" She turned to Nick again.

"Yeah..." he said shyly. 

"Brilliant." she took a deep breath to calm herself down. "Now, I am going to bring you two some tea and shut that freaking door from the outside. I promise to keep everyone away from here for as long as I can, so don't waste your time and start acting like a couple!"

And then we were left alone. We sat in complete silence avoiding each other's eyes until Lena brought us our tea, and then she left again, the sound of the door closing was loud as a shotgun, and I shivered. Nick quietly passed me my cup, and I accepted it with a small smile, enjoying the heat it provided.

"I'm sorry..." he said in almost a whisper. 

"For what?" I asked confused a bit.

"For avoiding you. I really thought I scared you and that you wouldn't want me around..."

I took a long look at him and if it weren't for the hot tea in my hand, I would slap myself. Or Nick. He looked so vulnerable, so unsure of himself. My strong and brave warrior was scared? My heart swelled in my chest, and in a matter of seconds I was laughing. 

"Whaaaat?.." he asked with a goofy grin.

"We are so stupid! My god!" and he joined me with his loud melodic voice, that seemed to engulf me in it's huskiness. After a minute he carefully extracted the cup from my hands and embraced me, tucking my head under his chin. I shyly wrapped my arms around his waist, and finally relaxed for the first time since we started the damned brewing. Nick seemed to bring out the best of my feelings to the surface, I was happy again, calm, relaxed, warm...