Myth Land (unedited)

XIV

I knew that place. I had seen it before. The cracked-like ceiling, the pebbles and clay loam, the dried papaya leaf, and the tiny hole not so far from where I was lying. I distanced my back from the ground that I slept on. Pinching my eyes with my own lids and eye bags, I got up.

The sound of a thousand grains falling to the hard ground tickled my eyes, and I knew for sure I had something to eat that morning. With my shoulders felt weightless than ever, I walked out of my room and found mama who was busy choosing which seeds we were about to eat.

'Oh! You're awake! Good morning, Pearl!'

That peculiar voice dancing in my ears warmed my heart and loosened the tension on my neck.

'Good morning, mama.'

I walked fast towards her.

'Wanna see what we have for today?'

I nodded to hide the fact that I just wanted to be close to her.

'I'm sorry, my sweetheart. No fruits for today. Only seeds.'

She shrugged her shoulders, grabbed an armful of grains, moved a bit to my side—pushing me a little to the back, and then she started to count how many grains each person would get on the table-like mound. I could see that one portion had more grains than the others, but I knew it was for my father. I frowned a little but immediately smiled because she knew I wanted to eat more, so she gave two extra grains to a pile of seeds which I assumed was mine.

'Mama...'

'If you want more, I don't have any extra,' she replied as if she knew what I wanted to say.

Yet that time she was wrong. I just wanted to call her.

A few days felt like ages for me. There was a kind of tingling feeling in my tummy to be able to call her. To be called by her. And not only by her voice, for not so long after she finished preparing for the meal, two distinctive irritating voices ran all the way from the room beside mine to my eardrums. My little brothers came out from their bedrooms while chasing one another. Screaming. Yelling. Shouting. Almost Fighting—almost—I stared at them and they held themselves back. Then continued running. The second they saw that the food was ready, they almost put all of the seeds inside their mouths at once.

'Not so fast, boys! Remember that mama, father, and Pearl haven't eaten, yet. It's better for us to eat together!'

Mama had this awesome ability to see what her children were doing without even looking.

They put some of the seeds back to the ground and continued running here and there.

Father came from the outside when suddenly they stopped running and directly sat beside the mound with the largest pile of grains. He didn't smile. He didn't greet any of us. He just sat there and cleared his throat.

My brothers had seated themselves before I knew it. I refuse to understand as to why we had to sit as soon as he did. Everyone in the house obeyed without questioning why we had to. Not for respect, but because of fear.

I sat with the two of them followed by mama. Then, we started eating while having small talks. Just like what I usually did with my friends at the cubicle.

'It feels so good to have our beautiful daughter back in the house, right?' said mama.

I smiled blithely. Never thought that coming back home would feel so comforting and distressing at the same time. My little brothers were busy with themselves, but mama seemed to be there only for me. Father's face was as stiff as usual. He didn't even crack a smile. Not even after mama tried to initiate a conversation.