Myth Land (unedited)

XXVII

By the time I woke up, it was the twentieth day of the life that they said would be amazing.

The rising sun forced me to open my eyes. The sunrise painted everything around me in bumblebee and merigold. My chin and tummy glued to the ground. I was a liquid. Again, just like the other day, I was more interested in my shadow behind me rather than getting up. It appeared to be larger than my body, almost turned all the tiny dry leaves behind me into grey, challenging the blinding sunlight. I moved aside, and my shadow deterred something else from getting the sunlight. Then I realized it wasn't my shadow that made everything dark. It was I who blocked everything from being able to greet the morning sun. But everything that turned dark was only things placed behind me, for in front of me was merely light and sunlit.

Had enough playing with my shadow and the sun, I sat with my back against my cubicle. Wondering should I go home or not for (I think) the second time. And if I stayed, would it be better for me to change what I had made or better if I continued.

'If I continue, will I become something worse than a traitor? But I am already a traitor for them.'

Then I thought my mind had wandered too far from the soil I sat on. I wondered what the motives behind everything that humans do were. What made them decided to do things?

'For a creature that is full of love and care, aren't they supposed to do everything by heart and precede it with their brain? Aren't they supposed to do something useful just like what we have been taught? Or maybe I thought what I had done was useful, but it was actually not. Maybe I need to do things more like...'

Just the time my head was about to explode, a soft living creature landed on my nose. Pulling my irises to the center of my face.

'I have been expecting to see you!' Volar, I was sure, could bring any dead body come back to live at that time.

'What are you doing?!'

'Wandering. That's all. What are you doing?'

I shook my head, 'Just watching the sunrise.'

'Must be having a blurry vision, then?' she giggled, 'What happened?'

I couldn't help but told her my doubts. I told her how bad I wanted to go home and never came back to the nasty place. I told her how I wished I didn't believe when people said that going far away from home would give me an amazing life. I told her about Insulsus. I told her about Gregarious. I told her about Risum, Chuckle, Hani, Philip, and Sophie. I told her how I doubt my work. And with all her patience in listening to my squeaking very close to crying voice, she said,

'I have always wanted to be a butterfly, although being a caterpillar isn't bad either.'

She smiled.

'But the thing is when I become a butterfly, I feel freer. It feels like I've lost all the weight on my shoulders—although it's still there, but sure I can feel the gladness that I've never felt before.'

I bow my head.

'And after years of waiting to be a butterfly, I finally changed because of something that I have never done.'

Being like the others?

'By staying true to myself.' She paused. 'And staying true to myself is not an easy task. It was hard. Real hard because I also need to consider other elements around me. Of course I can't lie that I'm hungry all the time, but if I eat all the honey, what about other butterflies who haven't eaten? And that is only one of many other examples.'