Myth Land (unedited)

XXXII

Holy mother of calf.

Sphynx passed out right before she told us about the fish. I wobbled her body trying to wake her up, but she was as stiff as an oak tree, cold as an eternal winter, her eyes weren't fully closed, and her nose didn't breathe a single kind of air.

'This is hilarious, isn't it?' I sat hopelessly next to the lifeless chunk of flesh covered with skin who used to be the one I ran to when I got lost.

My thoughts were drowned into the further plans that I needed to take. I stuck between having the desire to kill myself, to go home and disappoint my mama, or to continue and die along the journey. No need to question why I didn't think about winning at all because we all know, the three of us know, you know, that we were only fighting a losing battle. There was no use to hold on to hopes. There was no use to believe in anything.

I gained back my wakefulness right after I realized that Hyena and Decorus had been staring at me for quite a while. Their eyes were dim and lips curved down as they made an eye contact with me. I had no idea why they stared at me that way until Hyena asked me, 'Will you be all right? I mean, Sphynx just...'

My bad. The Baboon's bad. Insulsus' bad. I forgot that in front of me was a dead body of my just-become best friend. I wanted to cry. I tried to cry for real. I forced the nerves on my neck to tense and closed my eyes roughly and tightly so maybe some drops of tears would come out.

But nothing.

Nothing happened.

I opened my eyes again and looked at Sphynx's dead body like looking at a rock. It was only a rock. I couldn't decide how I should feel towards just a random rock I could found on any road.

Of course, I wanted to show my gratitude and respect to Sphynx. Indeed she was the one who had been believing in me although then I wasn't sure whether she really trusted me or she only desired the price that she always failed to tell. I excused myself and walked aimlessly until I found leaves big enough to cover her body. Two pieces. And one wild white flower which petals were small but there are many of them—that I don't know what the name is. I came back and blanketed her with all of the organic piece of sheet. Thinking that it was actually useless 'cause the wind would blow or the ground would invite it to the underground.

'Let's do the fish, then,' Decorus broke the silence.

'You know what the fish is?' Hyena's voice told more doubts instead of curiosity.

'I had fish friends for a long time. Never mentioned it before. Never thought it would be important.'

'Let's discuss this in a more private place,' Hyena led the way. Followed by Decorus.

I was frozen at where I stood. Not sure whether the air was too thin and freezing or it was the warm heart and soul that just left and forever be gone. But seeing the moon glistened at the now cold flesh, I knew I had to follow Hyena and Decorus.

After the discussion at our cubicle—Hyena's choice—we headed to the Christmas tree to do the fish. Then I found no tension at all. We, each of us, had the same probability to either ride or die. Made a promise to stay close to each other, our bodies were only inches away, but my mind was running everywhere like a mad bunny.

Or not.

Or maybe my head only wandered to where it had always been. To home. To where mama sits on a small chair fitted for mice made of pebbles. Where mama's cook never fails to drag me home, for the odor will crawl outside the door and tickle my nose and stomach. Where mama kisses my forehead when I pretend to sleep. Where mama lives.

'You're not as you usually are,'

'I am always silent, Hyena.'

'Not this silent. Don't worry, Pearl, I can understand. We're facing death by our own decisions.'

I laughed for nothing then looked up to the sky. 'It's not death that I'm afraid of. It is failing to death and having to watch others die with my two eyes. Or even if I were blind, with my two ears. Or even if I were deaf, with all of my senses. We can never escape death. But witnessing someone's death is a choice. But here. It is not.'

Don't be confused by the explanation I said to Hyena. Of course I will never tell her that all I think about is mama.

'We're almost there,' said Decorus.

We scanned the area around the Christmas tree. Safe. But still on our guards. We ran into the base of the tree. No one was sitting on the branches. At first we assumed that everyone had died, but the leaves were lush, so they might be hiding or sleeping somewhere in a more convinient place.

Just like what Decorus said, there are more streams around the Christmas tree than the cubicles. Some streams were directly connected to the sea, so there would be no small fish live or swimming there. Those streams were also not connected to the tree. They stopped at the edge of shy roots that hesitantly showed themselves from the underground.

Hyena let out a heavy sigh. 'Guess we're the only ones still alive.'

She and Decorus were then busy talking about the next move, but my instinct told me to stay alert. I backed the Christmas tree to examine the vaster view of the land. We had been watched. But I couldn't tell. I couldn't count how many pair of eyes because I wasn't able to see them. But I knew it. My pointy nose can never be wrong.

When I was busy looking for an uninvited guest, I noticed that Hyena and Decorus had already stopped talking. I turned around. And there I saw. For the first time. Ten steps away from us, the Baboon was smiling at Hyena and Decorus, and maybe at me. My friends were taken aback, but their chests were stuffed and eyes were as sharp as razors. The Baboon placed his eyes on me finally. Demanding some respects, I assume. I didn't bow. I didn't bend. I didn't smile nor did I stare back at him. My gaze was lowered to a nasty, dirty, cunning, devious creature whose shape as big as his feet standing beside him and ready to be stepped to death. Insulsus.

'I didn't know that I have an appointment,' the Baboon didn't move from where he stood but hid his hands behind his back and smiled.

'The appointment was agreed, Sir,' Decorus, his tone flat, replied.

'With whom? If you let me know.'

Decorus smirked.

'With death.'

­-tsl

*Guys... I just want to say. Up to this point. I just really, really, hate Insulsus. With all my heart.

Rise and shine,
The Sunflower Lady