why we cant talk on the phone

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i cried to you that night.

wailing about how sorry i was.

i dont remember what i did, but what i do remember is that you hurt me first.

yet i was apologizing.

you always find ways to maneuver it.

finding tiny loopholes to take the blame off of you, and throw it onto me.

youre so good at it too.

but youre so damn backwards.

i dont understand you.

when i told you i wish we never met

when i told you i wanted to die

when i told you i wished i had never been born

when i told you i couldnt stand burdening you

crying loud and choking on my own saliva and tears, i begged you to forgive me.

. . .

you smiled. you fucking smiled.

and guess what:

i didnt even know it.

~ why we cant talk on the phone

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