A Girl Like Her (STUDXSTUD)

Chapter 25.

Im ready to end the book already so imma speed up to what happened these last few days.

A month later.

Ariel

Let me just update you all on what's happened.

I haven't really been social with anyone much. I've actually been thinking a lot and I've been down because of the whole situation I'm in with Jaie. The thing about being a "side bitch" is that you realize you'll never be the wife. Obviously. You'll always come second, and you'll never be the first priority. You'll always get the seconds. The left over attention, and so on.

I realized it a long time ago, but I never really grasped that. Here I am thinking that maybe one day she'll allow herself to completely fall for me again and she'll leave Chris and we'll be happy and finally have that dream wedding that we had planned.. Tuh, no. And I hate myself for even thinking I'd ever be her fiancé again.

Jaie and I have had a few talks this last month about how she can't 'let herself fall for me' because she can't be in love with two people. What hurt me was the fact that she chose Chris to be the girl she wanted to love. And not me.

Anyways, Cam is doing great, she comes around sometimes and checks on me. She's mostly got her own life going for her, and I try not to tell her much because I don't want her stressing over the fact that I'm stressing.

I haven't seen Armani in so long, because it's better for me to stay away until I actually get myself together.

Jaie's Instagram account was deleted and she 'so badly' needed to be on social media so I gave her my 10k account, but she left the password the same and she knew I was on it. I seen everything she was doing, and a lot of times it made me cry. I always make myself cry, so no I don't expect pity from anyone.

Cam was pissed that I gave her my page actually. Yeah it was just an Instagram page, but she was mad at the fact that I give Jaie anything that she wants whenever she wants or needs it. I just let it be, and that was that.

Jaie and I haven't talked much. If anything, yesterday, she's actually told me that she doesn't feel attached to me anymore and she feels very distant towards me. She said she felt the same way towards Chris, but her actions said otherwise. She didn't see me anymore. Didn't come and talk to me, nothing. A few texts had been exchanged here and there, but that was mostly it. She was always posting on social media, pictures of herself and Chris, and making cute paragraphs. How are you "distant" from someone but always all up on them? That's not distant to me.

The example Jaie used for us was that she's "laying in a hospital bed and she sees me disappearing but she can't move and theres nothing she can do so I'm just disappearing." Basically. But, we did have sex the other day though.

I met this one girl named Kay, and she's a fem but she's cool as hell, really. She can sing beautifully and she's beautiful as hell too. Funny thing is, she was stuck on a boy and they'd been together five months. I always told myself I'd never fuck with a Bisexual girl, but hey.. look at me now. I'm iffy as hell about it, but I'm going for it. There's a first for everything. Cam always talks about how she's keeping a 'close eye' on her, and it always makes me laugh.

But the thing about Kay.. I don't really want to get too close to her. I don't want to spend years getting to know someone else all over again. I don't wanna let another person in. If it isn't Jaie, I just wanna be left alone. So, I do feel myself distancing from Kay already and we haven't even been talking that long. I don't trust anyone, and I really don't even want a relationship. I also don't want to date a fem, lowkey.