chapter one

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beforewe go to the aquarium

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before
we go to the aquarium. i resist but you keep on tugging at my sleeve. you do that pouty face of yours that you know makes me laugh. i say fine, let's go. you smile and we take a bus ride. once we get there, you barely utter a word. you are amazed by all the fishes. i try not to giggle, and distract myself by looking at a display of fishes. i hear a snap and whir behind me. as i turn around, you are holding our black polaroid camera. i grin. you always manage to make me smile.
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now
i walk out onto the busy streets, missing the constant chattering of your voice next to me. i see a bus stop and hop on to the bus that just stopped next to it. i ask where it is going. the driver says that it's going to the aquarium. i nod, shrug, and pay. in the aquarium, i walk around aimlessly and see a display of fish. i start crying. people stare at me, but i don't care. these days, i really don't. i see a shop at the exit and see a lion fish plushie. i buy it without hesitation, and name it after you.
"let's go home, phil", i whisper to it, walking out of the door into the cold, cruel reality.

song: blue by troye sivan

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