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"it was a thursday i had just gone shopping for trainers and when i went home he wasn't there i looked everywhere phoned everyone no one knew. the next morning, i got a call from the hospital. they were telling me that phil was badly hurt someone had run him over and he was sitting on what they said could be his death bed. in the hospital, i had never seen him like that before. he saw me and smiled wide. i whispered his name and he whispered back mine. i held both his hands in silence. tears were running down my cheeks. all the years of our friendship flashed through my mind next to him i felt strong with hope like i could be anything but now i felt him slipping away and i couldn't do anything to stop it. the next day, phil lester, my best friend and soul mate, died. it was the worst day of my life. i had to stop everything that was good in my life. i quit youtube. deleted all my public social medias. i ended all my friendships. i was alone. but he was still there with me. in my heart. i miss him every day. he's always going to be here, no matter what. because he's next to me, in my life. and i love him for that."
