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before "you are making such a big deal out of this" i laughed. you mock-frowned. "i am not! it is a very important day in our lives." you showed me jazz hands. it was the day that our sim, dil howlter, was going to get married. "we have to conserve this moment, dan," you picked up our black polaroid from the beside table and took a selfie. "you really like that little thing, don't you?" i asked. you nodded. "i do, but i wish we had gotten a brighter color. not one like this. this matches your soul." you smiled, and wrote down "dil's wedding". as the game loaded up, we laughed. - after i don't know what to wear. i ransack my closet and spot a black suit at the far end. i pick it up. it was the suit i wore when dil got married. god, that was a fun time. i put the suit on and go downstairs to meet martyn, who is already waiting. we go by car to the church. i look out of the window and miss you.
your funeral is, needless to say, funereal. your family and i sit on the first pew, and seeing your face laying in that coffin makes me want to slam it shut. the priest drones on and on about how phil lester didn't deserve it, about how the man who ran him over deserves nothing but punishment, and i am extremely close to falling asleep. i'm about to, but your mum nudges me. it's my turn to speak. i put on a song, and start talking. (song in the next chapter)
song: welcome to the black parade by my chemical romance
