K'hat'n'dlawa

Tension

The pain was acute- almost physical in its intensity. Amanda had never known anything like it.

It made no sense. They had only been together for two months- how could it affect her this way? She hadn't actually fallen in love with him, had she? She had always been one to believe that love came slowly, over time, with increased familiarity with another person. Two months was just not enough time to fall in love.

Well, if it wasn't love, it was sure as hell close to it, judging by the way she felt now.

After her initial breakdown, she had not cried. She may have wanted to- but she did not. She had cried her tears, and would spare no more for him. It wasn't his fault, she knew that. He wanted to be with her, but 'wanting' was not a logical reason. He could not turn down this marriage just because he 'wanted' to. That would not have been the Vulcan thing for him to do.

She remembered a fleeting thought she had had on Friday night...that she was beginning to realize how much logic could hurt her. She had never wished more than she did now that she had been wrong. Logic was now her least favorite word.

To make matters worse, she still had to work near him. She was not at all sure that she was ready to handle that. Not yet, anyway. To see him, to know that if it had not been for one betraying photograph, they could still be together...it was the most frustrating thing ever.

Did she resent him? Not quite. He had not set out to intentionally hurt her. But had he even fought for her? She doubted it. He would not fight logic, and she had no qualms about admitting the fact that a Vulcan woman would be better for him for that reason. He was out of his element with her...always unsure, always hesitant. With a Vulcan wife, it would be uncomplicated.

But this T'Pau, however...she had never met the woman, but she would never forgive her for shattering the first ray of happiness she'd had in a long time. She'd had her fair share of misery and heartbreak over the years...the deaths of both of her parents, a slew of ex-boyfriends who had all claimed to be 'different' yet ended up being the same anyway...Sarek had been the best part of her life. Now he was gone, too.

The shuttle-bus jolted to a stop in front of the Embassy. Amanda took a deep breath and let it out before standing and making her way to the front of the bus. It was Monday...she may have to see him again. This would be a test of how strong she was, of how well she was able to contain her emotions.

When she stepped off the shuttle, the first thing she saw was a group of people on the sidewalk. She took no notice of them at first...until she saw that they all had cameras, and were pointing them at her. Why? Because they thought she was Sarek's girlfriend. How ironic.

Someone- and that someone probably worked at the Embassy- had let slip to a reporter who she was and where she worked. It had been in that article over the weekend. She had forgotten about it until now...

As she made her way down the walkway that led into the building, they followed her. She tried to block them out, but she couldn't.

"My name is Tina Kingston...I'm here for Cosmos magazine...can you tell me what it is about a Vulcan that attracts you?"

"There are rumors that it's only for money, is that true?"

"How long have you and the ambassador been seeing each other?"

"Is marriage on the horizon?"

The questions were personal enough...but after the day before, they only sliced her wounds open afresh. She had tenuous control over her emotions as it was, and this...

Amanda spun around to face them, eyes flashing.

"Do none of you have lives? Or do you actually enjoy harassing people?" she snapped. They stopped taking pictures and asking intrusive questions long enough to gape at her. She turned back to the Embassy and left them on the threshold- grateful that they were not allowed in the building.